while we are young / halsey

.2

hal·cy·on
ˈhalsēən/
adjective
1.
denoting a period of time in the past that was idyllically happy and peaceful.

sage noticed me staring at ashley right away. "get over her, hay. she doesnt know you exist. she probably never will." she said to me. her words hurt, but only because i knew they were true. ashley frangipane is too good for me.
i nodded and took my iphone out of my back pocket to check the time. i turned my phone on to see a picture of sage and i in front of the disney castle in disneyland. 7:58.
"holy shit!" i semi-yelled and ran away from sage without saying goodbye. i had to get across the school in under two minutes. i was wearing black nikes, which helped as a usually wear something totally inconvenient like my white original adidas when its raining and there is mud everywhere.
i managed to get into history without the bell ringing before, and i sat in an empty seat off to the write of the classroom.
written on the board were these words: TUESDAY, MARCH 16th. FINAL TEST ON THE FRENCH REVOLUTION
"oh shhiitttttt," i thought to myself. i didnt study. at all. i looked around the room to look at the other students faces as they read the words. many looked confident. i was the only one not prepared for this test.

lunch came quicker than it usually does. sage was already in the cafeteria, pretty much sitting on her boyfriend, as usual. "hayden!!!!" sage called to me and motioned her hand for me to join. i sat in between sage (who was only half sitting there) and our friend luca, whos boyfriend was sitting next to him. i still dont know his name.
we did what we usually did during lunch. first, we traded food. lucas boyfriend and sage are both vegan,
so they always see what they dont want and trade. luca and i are vegetarians, so we also trade some things from our lunches. sages boyfriend straight up loves meat, so he doesnt participate. we then talk about various subjects, like beyonces hair in one picture compares to it in another. we also talk about buffy the vampire slayer a little more than we should. today was one of those days.
luca, sage, lucas boyfriend and i were all arguing about who buffy should have ended up with, when luca said, "we are going to be seniors in a couple months you guys. it feels so weird to think we are all almost adults." we all nodded in agreement.
"i love you guys," i replied. luca put his arm around me and kissed the side of my head.
"we love you, too."
luca and i met when he moved from Australia to here when we were freshman. he was getting picked on by a couple of seniors for being a faggot and i walked up to one of them and punched him in the face. i got suspended, but it was worth it.
luca and i started the LGBT+ club at our high school about five months later. over 100 people joined. about 70 of them were still in the closet, and all of us as a team helped 57 of them come out by the end of sophomore year. luca had also met his boyfriend there. luca now runs the club on his own because my depression got worse and i started having health issues and i didnt really leave my bedroom.

the lunch bell rang and we all said goodbye to each other, luca and his boyfriend headed one direction, and sage and her boyfriend headed the other. i walked into the hallway and walked through the maze of teenagers to get to my locker. i grabbed my books and my headphones. i plugged them into my phone and started playing carmen by lana del rey. i closed my locker and turned around.
there she was. she was glowing, her light skin radiant. her walk was so strong and powerful she could kill someone with it. she turned her head slightly and our eyes met. it was obvious i had been staring. i quickly turned and walked the other direction. i needed to get away.