while we are young / halsey

1.6

in·fat·u·ate
inˈfaCHəˌwāt/
verb
past tense: infatuated; past participle: infatuated
be inspired with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for.

i sat on my bed nervously. any minute i should be getting a message from her of where to go, who to see. it seems like every second is its own eternity, and as every second passes, it reminds me there isnt a message.
7:12.
7:19.
7:37.
7:55.
at exactly 8pm, it comes.
blueastherain: Open your window, red.
unspokenletters: okay ???
and sure enough, there she was. standing outside my second story window, staring back up at me with a giant smile on her face. i open the window and the second i do she whispers, "hurry, we cant be late or we will miss all the fun!"
i sighed and climbed out my window onto the roof in front of it. i slid on my ass down the roof until the very edge, then jumped. this wasnt the first time i had snuck out.
i landed gracefully on both my feet and ashley immediately grabbed my hand. "harlequin and X are in the car, benson and augustus are already there. we need to hurry."
we ran hand in hand across my backyard and through the gate separating us from the road. the two were parked down the street so my mother and siblings wouldnt see.
courtney and liam were both in bed reading and mother was getting drunk on cheap wine while watching old soap operas.
harlequin and X were making out in the front seat when we approached the runned down Saturn. they stopped abruptly and unlocked the doors. ashley and i climbed in the back seat.
"hey red!" the two said in unison.
"hey guys!" i replied.
"you ready for the best night of your life?" harlequin asked me.
"hell yeah!" i cheered. X smiled and put the vehicle in drive. harlequin put on never mind the ballocks by the sex pistols and turned it up, almost full volume. we listened to it the entire 20 minute drive to the house the party was being held at.

you could hear the music from a block away. blaring dubstep remixes of pop songs being played so loudly i plugged my ears as we drove up to the house. it was large and beautiful. i recognized it immediately. it was the mayors estate. we parked as close as we could manage, with over 50 cars just lining the roads.
the four of us got out of the car, harlequin pulling ashley and i forward as X grabbed a scary looking brown leather briefcase from the trunk.
i looked to ashley, who looked almost as nervous as i felt. she looked weak. i had never seen her weak, or thought i ever would. i could tell she wasnt ready for what was to come, which made me question if i was too.
"joseph cooper. mayors son. one of Xs best clients. this is the best party you will ever go to." harlequin looked so excited, like her entire life was spent waiting for this moment.
"what do you mean, one of Xs best clients?" i asked her before he came back over to join us.
"X sells drugs, sweetie." she smiled innocently and ran over to him, kissing him with so much force he almost fell over.
"come on, lets go!" ashley grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward the house.
it was already dark, but the lights of the house illuminated everything around it. i could smell the liquor and cigarette smoke, and we werent even inside yet. my eyes burned and i coughed. ashley giggled and pulled me farther. she was obviously used to this.
there were red cups littering the lawn like flowers blooming in a flower garden. i couldnt tell if i was excited or nervous. we here at the house and ashley was opening the door for me. at least 300 teenagers stumbled and danced around just the first floor alone, from jocks to emos, nerds to the most popular kids from other high schools. though it was only 8:30, at least half of the kids were already wasted.
"we will be in the third floor bathroom. call me if you need me or want to join us," ashley whispered in my ear over the loud music, "be safe here, red." and she was gone.

after about 15 minutes of sipping a random beer and sitting in the kitchen alone elijah, sages brother approached me. "did sage take you here?" he asked drunkenly. i shook my head no. a sigh of relief left his mouth. "dont tell her i was here." he said again and wandered off. i decided to let all my fear go and dance a little, so i started grinding up against this boy i didnt recognize to a song called new americana. i was a little tipsy and he was high, so it was fun. after i left the room and found a somewhat less loud area, i called ashley. she answered after the first ring. "hey beautiful." she said seductively.
"hi. where are you? i want to join you guys."
"are you sure?"
"yes."
"third floor, go through the master bedroom at the end of the hall. we are in the bath tub." and the line went dead.
i followed her instructions and found them about 2 minutes later. i wish i hadnt. when i walked in, there was no pot like i thought there would be. there was cocaine. line apon line of cocaine, with ashley snorting it. a 100 dollar bill rolled tight held to her nose. when the door opened, ashley looked up and screamed, harlequin yelled swear words in a language i didnt understand, and augustus just stood there, staring at me. none of them wanted me to know what was going on.
ashley and benson were in the bath tub taking turns, and augustus and harlequin by the counter, with at least 50 rows facing each of them.
"look, red-" ashley started.
"want some?" X said happily. everyone, including me, shot him a glare, and he shut up immediately.
i was in shock. there was no way in hell i was expecting to walk in to a room full of cocaine, but it also didnt surprise me. i made eye contact with all of them, who either looked disappointed or eager to get on with it.
"im sorry you had to find out this way," ashley said to me with a sad look in her eye.
"if you want to join us, ill pay for your part... you probably dont have 2000 dollars cash with you," benson said.
augustus hadnt moved. he was acting really strangely, and it made me uncomfortable.
"how do you do this?" i said as i walked farther into the marble bathroom.
X smiled and said, "ill show you!"
he demonstrated without snorting it, because according to harlequin, drug dealers cannot get high on their own product while selling.
i didnt know what i was getting into, but i do know, that deep down i really didnt want to do it. i bent down and storted an entire line without stoping. when i came up, the whole room applauded for me. there were a few people in the corner eating edible marajuana tablets, but i didnt know them.
we continued snorting the cocaine and having stupid conversations until most of it was gone and we were all stoned.
"lets go downstairs yall!" benson said excitedly. we all cheered and headed for the door.
"stay back for a minute." augustus whispered in my ear. his hot breath stung me and sent a shiver throughout my body. i did as he was told, though
i didnt want to. it was like i was sleepwalking.
as soon as the door closed, augustus locked it, then shoved me against a wall and stuck a needle with a red liquid inside into my arm. "good bye red."
i tried to scream, but my vision went blurry and soon i dropped to the floor, knocked out.