90s Queen Bee #Wattys2016

Chapter 28 - The formal

1998

Mr. H had me scheduled to come out last for my final bow and I received a standing ovation. Even though I knew all of this wasn't actually real, it felt wonderful to know that mum, dad, Millie and even Ben had seen me perform without tears in my eyes. In fact, they'd seen me nail it.

It also felt wonderful to truly enjoy performing for them. I felt invigorated. And after I'd been stripped naked and tripped over, I felt more than capable of facing the scrutiny and humiliation of the auditions I'd soon be going on.

As I walked off stage, I noticed Penny waiting for me in the wings.

'Oh my god Sammy, I just heard what happened to you.' She flung her arms around my neck and I hugged her back. 'Everyone's talking about how cool you were about it. You just got back out there. You were amazing.'

'Thanks Penn,' I said. 'And I'm sorry about being such a bitch.'

'I'm sorry for calling you a bitch,' Penny insisted. 'You could probably teach me a thing or two.'

'You're pretty great the way you are.' I squeezed her hand.

What I wouldn't give to be able to go to a bar for a drink with my best friend – or to flop on my couch to watch Orange is the New Black and pass a warm bottle of wine between us.

'Everyone's too afraid of Robin and Mudsey to tell a teacher what happened,' said Penny. 'Do you think you will?'

'Maybe.' The truth was, I probably wouldn't. I didn't want my last moments back in '98 to be about talking to teachers. I had a formal to enjoy instead.

As I made my way across the stage towards the exit to see my parents, Blair touched my shoulder.

'Sammy?' He brushed his floppy hair off his face and smiled. He so could have been on the cover of a TV Hits magazine, right next to JTT, JT with his ramen noodle hair, Devon Sawa and that hot neighbour from Step by Step. 'You were awesome out there.'

'Thanks! And thank you for what you did. I really appreciate it.'

'S'alright,' he said with a shrug. 'They were being a bunch of pricks.'

'Yes, they were.' I nodded. 'But I'll survive.'

'I'm sure you will,' he said.

'Still, your coat kinda saved the day.'

He looked down at his feet nervously. 'I have to admit, I knew what they were going to do, but I couldn't stop them.'

'That's okay. You made it right.'

'So are we still on for the formal?' he asked. 'I hope so.'

This was the type of moment my teenage self would had fantasised about when she'd lain awake at night and doodled on the inside of her lever arch file in class. But I knew how I wanted my final venture back to high school in '98 to end and it wasn't with Blair. I realised that if I was going to relive my formal and experience it in a much better way than I had 17 years ago, I wanted to do it with my best friend by my side.

'I'm really sorry Blair, but I should never have said yes to you in the first place. I promised Penny that we'd hang out together – no dates.'

'Oh.' I could see the disappointment in his face. I felt bad, but this was only my dream. It wasn't like I was letting him down for real.

'I'd love to have a dance with you, though,' I said. 'Can you please save one for me?'

I had visions of the two of us jumping around side by side to Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit, just like we had at Dance Like No One's Watching. Blair, however, had another type of song in mind.