It's become a habit of mine whenever I make a mistake
Or cause pain
To take the aftermath, hide it away
And bottle up the shame
I've developed a natural instinct to protect everyone else
So I try and take all the shit I cause out on myself
Someone has to take the blame
And therefore I'm the one who is tied up in chains
It sounds great in theory
But it seldom translates into reality
Which is why I tend to keep most things under lock and key
The consequence of course begins
When something stirs from within me
A spark ignites and begins to burn
I've made my move
Now it's the devil's turn
But I must fulfil my mission
And make sure no-one gets hurt
So I don't show the tears I cry
Whenever the flood threatens, I stem the tide
I don't let on about the sleepless nights
And I never disclose the thoughts that perpetually plague my mind
I always show my frustration when alone
Behind closed doors
So as not to rub salt into other people's wounds
When they are already raw
Why? Because I don't want to be ridiculed or judged
I refuse to let one moment of weakness
Break the heart of someone I love
That's something only a fool does
But above all, I don't want to be accused
And have to face a simple fact that I know to be the truth:
That I'm not good enough
But I'm only delaying the inevitable
The volcano will soon erupt...
Within my hidden depths, there lies a beast
Carefully plotting the perfect course
As it rolls in the deep
My well-crafted mask begins to crack
As it breaks down my defences silently
Then without warning, it happens suddenly
BANG!
A fierce explosion within me
The inner beast begins to breathe
I try and find the words
Desperately
But I'm unable to speak
With my vocal chords frozen, all that I am able to release
Is a silent scream
