It All Began With You

Roses Do Prick

  Each year I wear the same shoes. Once white they are now rusty brown with dust and the soles are as worn as my own. The laces trail on the ground, over-long as they are and frayed like some old goat-tether. With each step I watch the lace flop in its random pattern, random and predictable at the same time. I alter each footfall just a little to watch the effect, anything to not think about where I'm heading, where I will be when there are no more steps to take... I'm sure behind me are soft prints in the dust, slight movements of grit and stone that prove I am really here on this path... but I walk this path every night when I close my eyes and part of me thinks I am still in my bed with the regular chores waiting for me – fetch the water, grind the grains, bake the bread when my grandma was alive. The smells are making it real though, this dust has an aroma of its own and it transports me back to childhood so fast I think if I do look back the imprints of my slow steps will be too small for the adult I am now and too light for the person I have become.  Home wasn't home anymore, I was scared of the word home. My dad would either be gone, sleeping with a new women every day or just drunk. 

I made my way up the porch stairs in front of my house and realised that the door was left ajar.The lights flodded in my vision as I stepped inside. There infromt of me was the man who I least eanted to see-my dad. 

"OI WHERE THE FU** HAVE YOU BEEN!" he screamed, slightly deafening me. 

"I was at school for your kind information, unlike others who care to complete their lust!" I spat

His eyes widened in shock. His hands darted backwards and he went in full force. Just as he was leaning in for the slap, I stopped his hand half way, anger jolting in me. All the anger of Dane was resutling into this and I felt nice.. I was standing up for myself.

"I am not going to lead my life on like this, do you hear me!!!!" I roared. 

I was going to slap him back when all of a sudden, something hits my head hard, making me crash on to the floor. My eyes started shutting, but I wanted to see who had hit me. My vision become blurry but I caught the sight of a pale faced lady, anger in her face and then pitch black.

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"That's enough, don't spill the whole bottle Fiona, are you nuts!" spoke the hated voice of my dad.

My eyes slowly opened and there infront of me were two gleaming face, one of my dad and the other of the women who had hit me. Why were they smiling? Abruptly, I scrambled to my feet, stabalising myself. The one blow did hurt a lot. My breathing quickened when the women made her way towards me. Her hands slowly came in contact with my face. At first I thought she was going to hit me but her hands caressed my bruise very carefully. I hitched at the gesture. Why was she being so nice?

"Oh sweety, I am so sorry, I thought you were gonna hit Andrew, so I took such a step," she notified. I gave her a stern face and looked at my dad. He made his way to both of us. 

"Cara meet Fiona, Fiona meet Cara," he responded. 

Fiona drew her hand towards me. I looked down at her gesture but I didn't want to get too close with her so I just gave her a nod.

"Cara, we need to tell you something," he sighed and slowly held his hands into mine.

"We have decided to get married," says thw both in unision. All the air was sucked out of the room, as I quickened my breathing. 

"WHAT!" I screamed. "HOW CAN YOU FORGET MUM SO SOON!" I retorted

"Listen, I have decided to move on in life and I think this is the best way to do it," he replied. He auwfully sounded so nice to me. Only I have seen his true colours. 

"Ya, by murdering mum!" I shot.

"M...mur..der?" Fiona added. Yes, I knew that dad hadn't told anything about his heinous deed.

"If you didn't know already, this person you call Andrew is actually a murderer and he killed my mum!" I screamed. 

  Her eyes and her mouth froze wide open in an expression of stunned surprise, and although she was staring straight at Dad she appeared not to notice him at all. 

"Shut up Cara, how dare you talk this bullsh**!" he yelled. "Fiona, don't listen to her she is just..."

He was cut mid way when Fiona grabbed her bag and left the house. *silence* I suddenly realised that it was only me and dad in the room. I gulped at the thought and I met his angry eyes. Anger boiled deep in his system, as hot as lava. It churned within, hungry for destruction, and I knew it was too much for him to handle but he deserved it. The pressure of this raging sea of anger had forced me to say things I do not mean, or to express thoughts that I had suppressed for weeks.

I know I had to get out his way before he erupted in his furious state. I knew that the feeling will pass, but while it hadn't, I'm well aware I could really hurt people. So I escape. I run.
I bolt out of my house, jamming earbuds into my ears. Music pours out, sounding like the most beautiful noise I'd ever heard. I turned it up, shutting out the world around me and I just... Let go. Of everything.
I allowed the darkness I felt swallow me whole for a little while, but my music felt like it was flowing through my veins, calming me from head to toe.
I slowly emerged from the anger I possessed and I stopped running. Having the anger dissipate in me felt nice, and I felt calmer than I had before, I felt free.  

My track stopped when I heard a honk of a car. I looked to the side and saw James, with his ruffled brown hair swaying in the wind because of the opened window.

"Cara, what are you doing, its soooo late!" he emphasised the 'so' and I shrugged. I wasn't in the mood for jokes.

"Want a lift, going anywhere?" he asked.

"Well, I forgot my keys in the house and the maid locked the door so I don't have anywhere to go," I lied.

"Do you want me to drop you off anywhere?" he spoke brushing his hands in his hair.

"I don't know where I shoud go at this hour," I responded.

"How about coming in the car for a start, it might start raining, you know the weather is unpredictable here," he patted the seat next to him and I made my way inside. The heater was on and it felt nice and cosy. Making myself comfortable, I whipped on the radio and music flowed out calming me even more. 

"Let me ask Amy or Ellie if I can go to there place first," I claimed as I took my phone from my pocket and quickly texted both of them on the group chat we made on watsapp.

Me: Are any of you awake, kind of an emergency, I need a place for the night?

Amy: I am sooo sorry but I can't, I have some guests over at my place, sorry :(

Ellie: I can't either, at a sleepover at a old school friends house, sorry

Me: Oh well, it's fine, I will think of something, thanks anyways!

"They can't, they are both busy, ughhh why does life hate me so much!" as I slumped onto the car seat.

Sorry for the short chapter! Trying to redeam myself ahaha! comment and vote and thanks!