Peeta's Story- The Hunger Games

Epilogue by cillia848

It's been two weeks since I've seen Katniss. My hands are practically shaking. I don't really want to admit that the nightmares are killing me, but they are.

Ever so slowly, they are.

Every time I think back to those moments with her, I have this pressure in my chest, like someone is squeezing my heart.

How could she? How could she kiss me and let me hold her? How could she tell me I'd be alright? How could she do those things? It was all a big joke. It still is.

So add that to my list of emotions.

Angry.

Angry, upset, betrayed, scared, aching, worried...

Confused.

Those berries. They could have killed us. They still can.

President Snow is angry. Angry at us, for those handfuls of berries.

She knew. How could she not? She knew it was rebellious... Did she? Or did she just want us both to live?

She and I both knew who- if they sent back those mutts- would survive.

Did she not want me to die?

No. It's not possible that's what she meant. She-

I hear a banging on the door.

"Open up!"

I get up from my bed, dropping my sketch book, the beautiful girl etched in pencil falling away.

I pull on a shirt and realize my breath won't come steadily.

I try to even it.

More banging from the door.

My feet go into auto pilot and lead me down the overly-decorated staircase, through an uncomfortably plush living room and into an overly-grand foyer.

I open the door, willing my hands to settle.

What I see does little to help my hyperventilating. I try to breathe softly.

"President..." I whisper, somehow at a loss for words.

President Snow is at my door. The man who wants to kill my one true love is at my door.

Damn it.

I swallow hard, regaining my composure.

"Hello Mr. President. How can I help you?" I dry my palms on the sides of my pants.

He brushes past me and into the living room. A few peacekeepers I haven't seen before follow. Warily, I follow as well. By the time I catch up, he's sitting behind the desk of the study, biting into a cookie. I clench my jaw.

It sounds stupid but, I always have cookies ready in case...Katniss ever decides to visit. It's strange, but I can't help feeling like he's looked into my soul or something. I mean, it's not like my cookies have all my secrets scrawled in frosting across the top.

I feel my cheeks heat slightly.

The guard shuts the door behind me and I hear a click. Locked in a room with President Snow. Oh joy.

"Take a seat." He gestures to a chair behind me. I do as I'm told and perch uncomfortably on the hard cushion. I fidget a bit and finally decide that Capitol decorators have no idea how unconventional most of their furniture is.

"So, Mr. Mellark, it's nice to see you again. What a lovely home." I can smell the blood on his breath. "So, full of life." He takes another bite of Katniss's cookie. I look at my bare feet. Well my bare foot. The contraption attached to my other leg is quite hideous.

My family decided not to move in with me. I guess they were just tired. Tired of having to listen to my voice. Tired of having to feed me. Tired of having a third child.
He knows that.
There's not another soul in this house.

God knows he doesn't have one.

"I noticed Ms. Everdeen and yourself, you don't speak much." He finishes the cookie leisurely. "Quite strange isn't it," he continues, "For her to so rudely ignore you." At that, I want to cry but I know I can't show weakness in front of president snow. So, my jaw tightens even more.

When I don't answer him, his face hardens and he grabs my wrist, his fingernails digging into my flesh. I rip back.

"I know you're not mute boy." He says, settling himself back behind the desk.

"I'm not." I whisper, rubbing my wrist, which is now sporting four angry red marks.

"What do you make of it then?" He whispers, leaning over the desk at me. The stench of the sickly sweet rose on his lapel and the sharp odor of blood on his breath do not mix well, and cause my stomach to churn.

"She's been busy." I choke out.

"Well here's something you need to know." He spits, "She never loved you and she never will. I don't buy it... Neither do you." He pulls back, "Do you?"

"Well...I..." I trail off. After a while the silence that follows becomes unbearable.

"You still think she loves you." He says, partly to himself.

"Yes." I say, all of a sudden defensive.

"Well, you could be right. You have all the time in the world to be with her." Something glints in his eye, a hint of mischief.

All the time in the world?

Oh no...

I want to breakdown. I want to sob. I want to beg him to let her be, let her live.

A little choking sound escapes my throat.

"Why? No- What?" I sputter, trying to speak.

"No one is convinced of Katniss's act. They saw those berries as a sign for rebellion. Not an act of," He stops to sneer at me, "Love.

"There have been uprisings. Revolts. I cannot have this. Our system is fragile, I can't afford this loss in our battle." He explains.

Uprisings? Revolts?

Because of those berries?

I should have swallowed them.

"Does..." I pause, swallowing my fear, "Does Katniss know any of this?"

"No." He snaps rather harshly, his eyes sharp and focused, "She'll know when the time is right. For now though," He relaxes a bit, leaning back, "I'd like you to work on some strategy."

"For what?"

"I need you to convince the Districts of your love."

I stand up in defense.

"It's not me that needs to convince anyone, and besides," I realize something, "No matter what we do, there's a spark. A spark of rebellion and there's nothing anyone can do to smother it! They will follow her into battle against the Capitol!" I'm on a roll now, "The Districts will catch fire!"

"Mr. Mellark," He says, sounding pleased, as if he is impressed I figured this out, "You are quite correct. The fire that will ensue will consume everything in it's path. There is no stopping it. You're a smart boy." He hesitates, "But, unfortunately, not smart enough to figure the fact that Katniss has already consumed you. Am I correct Mr. Mellark?" He has the ghost of a smile hanging on his lips.

"Yes. And I'll have you know that she will know all this information by noon tomorrow and-"

He cuts me off.

"She cannot know, or she will not react for the Capitol audience." He says and I can detect a slight panic to his voice. I have a gift for that, knowing when people are nervous, "They need to be subdued. She will be a grand distraction. Don't let on that you know anything."

I lift my chin slightly, to show I know I have the upper hand.

"And how are you going to stop me?"

His smile widens and his eyes narrow. My chin drops.

"I know you have a lot of little friends... Delly Cartwright if I'm correct is one? As well as some other town folks? It would be such a pity if they all were to disappear. Mr. Mellark I'm sure you know by now that accidents happen." My mouth goes dry and my sight is blurred. My hands feel cold. My head is spinning. "I know about your past. I know how you used to visit the woods surrounding the district to visit those twins. I know how they ran to District 13 and I know how they didn't make it. I know how you used to be quite the woodsman." He knows everything... How could he know? Those things were secret.

"So, what are you saying?"

"That even they are not safe."

I bite my lip.

"And?"

He gets impatient.

"That you have to join with the Capitol. You are capable of so much. We need your voice. You could turn a country with those words of yours, if you could put them to use. Proper use." He clarifies.

"What if I say no? What then?!"

Then my family will die, my friends as well. Then... The twins... All the people I love.

Except Katniss.

They can't take her though, can they?

No, the Capitol citizens would be in a frenzy.

"I will kill them all. Every last one. You will have no one left."

"I refuse." I say grimly. I know that I've just decided their fate. But, it was them or it was Katniss. Which one could I not live without?

Katniss.

But the real question that nags me is, could she live without me?

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epilogue written by cilla848 <3 thanks!