When the day met the night Part 2

Chapter Three

I walked out of the bathroom to find Jared talking on my phone, I looked at him curiously, wondering who he was speaking to. "She's here, I'll put her on" he said handing me the phone with a frown on his face. "Hi" I said, "Harper, I didn't know you'd left" it was Lucy, "Sorry Lucy, it was kind of a spirit of the moment trip, I was going to ring you about the part .... " I started to say. "Don't worry about that!" she interrupted me excitedly, I'd been offered something new. A much bigger role, bigger budget, nothing like the small independent films I had been doing. One of the lead supporting stars had dropped out, so they had offered the part to me. "When does it start?" I said cautiously, glancing at Jared, I could tell he was listening carefully to the conversation. "In four months, you'll be back won't you?" she said, "I don't know, it sounds like a really long shoot, I'm not sure .... " I said biting my lip, "I'll have to think about it, just email me the details please" I heard her exhale, "okay, but don't take too long, they won't wait forever" she said shortly, I hung up and put my phone down. "What it is?" he asked casually, I knew his interest in finding out was much more than casual, I explained briefly. "Are you going to do it?" he said, again his tried to keep his question casual. I shrugged, "I don't know, it sounds like a long shoot, I don't even know if it's really something I want to do, and what about Bluebell, it's a long time for her to be, away from home and .... " I trailed off frowning to myself. "Well, you can always leave her here" he said slowly. "No, I can't" I said curtly, "why not?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "I can't be away from her for that long" I said shaking my head. "I'll bring her over, we'll come and visit" he said. I shook my head, "no, I don't want to be away from her" I repeated. "So, you're not going to do it?" he asked straight out. I shook my head, "I doubt it, it's too ... it's too big a project for me, I like small stuff, you know that .." I said shrugging, he tried to hide his smug smile but I caught it before he could look away. I got back in bed and snuggled up next to him, enjoying the peace and quiet before Jared's mom brought Bluebell home. "So, can we talk?" he asked, "we are talking" I said smiling. I wasn't stupid, I knew what he wanted to talk about. "You know what I mean Harper" he said seriously. I sighed, "right now? please can we talk later?" I said looking away. "You can't keep avoiding the conversation, this is as good a time as any and we're alone" he said reasonably. "I don't .. want to talk about this now" I said, almost whining. I reached down to his crotch but he caught me by the wrist and pulled my hand up. "No, stop trying to distract me with sex" he said shaking his head with a frown. "It usually works" I said with a small grin and turned to lie on my back. "We are going to have to make some choices" he said seriously. It wasn't the first time I had tried to avoid the subject of conversation. "You mean I'm going to have to" I said. I turned onto my side giving him my back. I felt his hand slide over my hip, "that's not true, we want to make the right choices for Bluebell" he said gently. "So, us moving here, that's the right thing?" I said scooting away from him. "I know London is your home, but at the moment, I need to be here and I want you both here with me" he said. "Being here, in LA full time is not what I want for her ..." I said, not knowing how to continue that sentence. "And what about what I want? Or doesn't that matter?" he asked raising his voice ever so slightly. "I don't want her to be a, a ... celebrity kid, where she's always followed and photographed, at least back home people won't recognize us so much she will have less attention" I said sitting up and facing him. He exhaled, "I understand that, I'm doing my best to keep her out of the public eye" he said patiently. "I know, I know, I just don't want her to have the extra attention that she gets when we're here" I said frustratedly. "Even in London people photograph you both, you're not invisible over there" he pointed out. "I know, but its worse here" I said quickly. He nodded, "I realize that Harper, but it's part and parcel of our careers, you know that" he said shrugging. I nodded, resigned to the fact that he was right, "I need more time, I can't just make that decision ... just like that, it's a big change ...." I stammered. He was reigning in his frustration at my response, but he wasn't finished, "ok, you need more time, fine, what about a baby Harper, can we talk about that?" he said, I rolled my eyes and I looked away, I pulled my knees up towards my chest. I changed the subject every time he brought it up. "It's not the right time" I said quietly shaking my head, "it wasn't the right time for Bluebell, but I wouldn't change it for the world, would you?" he asked firmly. I groaned, "of course not, but it's different now", "how is it different? because I'm asking you? How long will I have to beg, you said you would think about it and yet you never want to talk about it" he said, his hand reached out and grasped my chin, turning it so I would look at him, but I knocked his hand away from my face and swiftly got up off the bed. I could tell he was rapidly losing his patience. "I nearly died, did you forget that?!" I snapped, I knew that was unfair, but I was feeling cornered now and I didn't know what else to say. He jumped up and walked over to stand in front of me, "I haven't forgotten, I was there I watched while my whole world nearly fell apart, I'll never, ever forget that, and I would never ask you to put your life in danger, but we both spoke to the doctor we heard him say it would be okay, it's safe, we've talked about this" he said reasonably. "No! No! I can't, not yet, you want me to leave everything back home and come here, to make the commitment to have another baby, what about you? What changes for you? Nothing!! I'm giving up everything to come here and then what? my whole life will revolve around you and babies!" I cried moving away from him. "That's what it means to be together, to be a family, our lives revolve around one another, I want that for us, don't you?" he said trying to keep his voice steady but I could hear it getting louder, "of course I do, I didn't mean it like that, I love you but I don't know if I'm ready to have another baby and give up my life in London" I said rubbing my forehead, "You're not giving it up, we will go back" he said in a calmer tone. "You know that's not going to happen once we're here" I said shaking my head, the tears that had been threatening, now spilling down my cheeks. He sat on the edge of the bed again and ran his hands through his hair. "I knew it would come to this, me giving up everything" I said in a whisper. He looked up at me, "you're not giving it up, it's just changing that's all" he said calmly, I shook my head doubtfully turning away. "Will you be that unhappy here?" he asked incredulously. "I want nothing more than for us to be together, but make no mistake, I'll never be truly happy here" I answered bitterly. He had finally lost his temper, "then stay there, we will just keep flying back and forth and see how long till we get tired of it" he snapped angrily, "I'm already tired of it, I want us to be together more than anything, but the truth is, if I come here, have another baby, everything is over for me!" I said, the tears now flowing freely down my cheeks. "That's not true" he growled. "Yes, it is, stop saying it's not!!" I screamed at him, I had finally lost my composure. "Stop it Harper" he said in a low voice, "I will not stop!" I yelled ignoring the warning tone in his voice. A recklessness had taken me now and I grabbed the nearest thing within my reach, my hairbrush, and impulsively threw it across the room narrowly missing his head by an inch as it flew past him. He glared at me angrily, in two strides he was in front of me and had grabbed hold of my wrists. "Let go of me!" I screamed, "I said stop! Stop screaming!" he shouted, I tried to pull out of his grasp but he wouldn't let go. "Let me go!!" I screamed again. "Harper, calm down, now!" he yelled over my screaming. I was sobbing now, but I had stopped trying to get away from him. He pulled me against his chest wrapping his arms around me. "Stop crying, baby, stop, please" his voice was now soft and pleading. His arms were holding me against him tightly. "Talk to me, please, tell me what's really going on" he begged. A few minutes passed and I slowly stopped crying. I took a deep shuddering breath and decided to tell him the truth, "I feel trapped, I have no real friends here, all my friends are back home, there's no one but you, and what about when you leave, to work, tour, what if I'm pregnant, here by myself, with Bluebell, I'll be alone, don't you understand how much that scares me?" I'd finally said it. I couldn't look at him I just spoke into his chest. I heard him exhale, "but you're friends with some of the girls, my mom ..." he started to say, I shook my head. "It's not the same, you know its not" I said. "I never thought of that ... I just ... want us to be together" he said, finally understanding my fears. "I want that too, I want to be with you" I whispered truthfully. "Harper, if you really don't want to stay, then don't, I'm not forcing you, we will make it work, I'm not going to lose you and I can wait, for a baby, whenever you feel ready, or if you don't want to, I'll understand" he said quietly. His voice soft and calm now as he kissed my forehead. I nodded but deep down, I knew what I'd have to do.