february 21, 11:33 am
dear cameron,
i listened to you say those words, "I'm sorry but I don't think it's going to work anymore." I listened to those words and expected silent tears to roll down my cheeks, a stab of pain that pierced my heart, i expected my mouth to become dry, my face to turn pale and a swirl of dizziness to come over me. instead of that, I stood there and felt numb. I wanted to say "I don't understand", instead I just thought, "I already knew".
instead of breaking down. I looked at your familiar face one last time. I told myself that I would be ready for the sleepless nights and the "what if" thoughts. I was ready to stop spending my 11:11 wishes on you. I was ready to stop missing the way you ran your fingers throughout my hair, and how you always used to tell me that I was the best person you had ever met. I was ready to stop the midnight conversations, and forget every single god damn moment I had with you. I was so ready that at that moment I didn't even persuade you to change your mind. that's because I knew heartbreak like it was my best friend, but for you it's just another ending of a tragic love story.
shawn mendes
