june 9, 9:10 am
dear cam d,
we started off as strangers. sometimes your name got stuck in my mouth. i would run my fingers across your skin. I didn't know what you looked like in the mornings. I didn't expect to love you.
I was sitting in your car in silence. I didn't feel the need to break it and fill it with empty conversation. I didn't worry about saying the wrong things. I didn't worry about laughing too much. it was comfortable.
in between the silence and the "can I come over's?" I found myself thinking about you. what it felt like to touch you. to hold your hand. to lay by your side and feel safe. I made myself stop. I wasn't going to fall in love with you.
but then I was really holding your hand. I could feel the warmth from your fingertips. your touch was warm and gentle and I never wanted you to go.
you were smiling and I couldn't stop looking at you. I loved the way you smiled and the way you laughed. I loved being the reason. I loved your eyes and the way you looked at me. everytime you did I felt my chest explode. I knew what it meant but I didn't want to admit it. not to you and not to myself.
I was laying with you. we weren't speaking. we didn't need to. I loved looking at you. I loved the way you felt under my touch. I loved everything about you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
shawn m
