I ran past mama so fast for her not to notice the tears in my eyes. For sure she'll blame papa if she sees me crying.
I lay here in my bed going over what happened today. Was I harsh? Did I mess up big time? Was going back home a big mistake?
The truth is, I knew he wouldn't say anything but sorry. I was punishing my self for not trying harder to not ask those questions. But my heart beat my brain to it.
Three years ago when we moved to Paris, I thought I saw papa, only to find out, it was really him. It broke my heart that I couldn't run to him and beg him to bring us home. Yes, I knew he came after us. But the thing is, he still left. He didn't fight harder, he didn't choose to stay with us. He walked away. And I felt hurt that he can deal not having us in his life.
Papa!! I'm 14 na! You don't have to carry me to bed anymore.
But I want to for as long as I can.
Even if I gain a ton of weight?
Athlete ata papa mo.
Even if I'm married na?
Even if I have apos already, yes sweetheart, I still will carry you. Remember, you're papa's Princess. Papa will always be here for you no matter what.
Some promise.
He didn't even go to my high school graduation. Even if I fought for him to come there.
Mama, please, invite papa to go.
I'm sure he won't fly here Ava.
But mom!
Hay nako! Ava Sabrina. When I say no, it's a no.
You're being unreasonable! He is still my father, he deserves to be there. He would've been there if we hadn't moved halfway across the world.
It was a big fight. I didn't speak to her for a week.
Sige na, I'll call your Lolo, and tell him that he and your papa are invited.
Really ma? I'm so happy!!
But, he and Lolo were a no show, just a card of congratulations and flowers, lilies, my favorite.
I cried so hard after Mama told me that they couldn't go.
I heard a knock on the door.
Ma, let's talk tomorrow, I'm tired.
Sabrina! That's no way to talk to your Lolo.
I opened the door and there he was, my Lolo. I hugged him so tightly.
Aba, ang apo ko. I should be angry at you. Inuna mo pa ang pag aartista than seeing your Lolo.
Sorry Lolo! Sorry. By now tears started flowing from my eyes.
I know apo, I know. But if your mad at your papa, Di dapat damay si Lolo dun.
No Lolo, it's not like that. Well it kinda was, cause I was avoiding all possible contact with papa.
Pero dahil iniiwasan mo papa mo, nadamay si Lolo? Tama ba? My Lolo the mind reader everybody. And I just nodded.
Nako apo you're so big now. I can't believe my only apo is now a lady.
By the door mama appeared. Ava you should start... She stopped when she saw Lolo.
Pa.. There are now more tears in the room.
Talaga bang ganun na ba akong ka pogi? Naiiyak kayo sa kasobrahan?
Papa Talaga.
Dawn Anak, wag na kayong aalis ha? Mas mabuting ganito at least I get to visit my girls.
But Lolo? How'd you know where we lived?
Eh kanino pa ba? I forced your papa to bring me here. He's waiting for me outside. Dawn, pwede bang kausapin ko muna ang apo ko ng saglit?
Ok po papa.
Apo, I have to leave kawawa naman papa mo dun sa labas. Pero apo, Lolo has a request.
Anything Lolo.
Forgive your papa na.
