Hi faithful readers! I put up a rant yesterday, and I'm not in the mood to write another at the moment. Hence, this update.
I've decided to spend this weekend working on both Cyanide Diamond and Jewels of a Crown. If you haven't read them yet, I'd highly appreciate you giving them a read and giving me feedback. I've been writing a lot of poetry and unrelated shorts in this month long gap since the last update, and I promise at least two chapters (at least one of each) to be posted on Monday. I am going to update these weekly, so there will be a constant upload of new reading fodder. Votes and comments appreciated.
I also have made a few promises to myself, and I am going to share them with you so that I am more likely to follow through with each of them.
As you all know, if you follow my Twitter account or know me personally, I am not exactly the best at self love. I've been bullied a lot as a child, and that has carried on to high school with family drama, friend drama, and a downhill charge for my mental health. People have said I'm pretty, I'm kind, I'm sweet, I'm graceful, the list goes on. I usually decline these and any compliments simply because I don't know how to react to them, especially since I am so half positive, half negative with myself.
My friends are my biggest supporters. To be honest, I should really listen to them all more. They are the kindest people I know, and my constant rays of sunshine, even when I'm so annoyed I'm silently thinking "I will punch you in the face if you keep talking to me". They're so amazing, I can't even describe it. I don't deserve any of them, internet friends and "real life" friends. I LOVE YOU GUYS.
I've decided to listen to them more. To try to love myself more. To see the good in myself like they do, and similar to how I see so much good in them.
I also need to start taking care of myself more: watching my blood sugars, eating healthily, and exercising. First, this is essential for my own health, and preventing damage that uncontrolled blood sugars will cause. I don't want to go blind or lose my kidney function. I want to live a long life, and be able to contribute my voice to the planet while living the happiest I can. Exercise and healthier eating choices will assist with this, as well as help me lose some weight (no, I am not insinuating I think I am overweight here) while still maintaining my healthy chubby self. Plus, it's an excuse to buy new clothes for next semester.
I'm going to write more. I'm going to try to be positive. I'm going to spend less time online and more time with the people that matter. I'm going to strive for what I want in life, rather than listing it in my darkest moments to preserve some positivity.
I've reached the point where I'm fed up with being sad. I'm going to invest in what I love, do what I love, and strive for my future. I'm going to live my dreams, as cheesy as it sounds. I hope you guys can all do the same, because you deserve to be happy, each of you. Provided your happiness doesn't revolve around illegal acts or other people's pain and misery.
I'm sending you all good, warm, happy vibes to you all. Maybe give this a try, trying to be happier and healthier. I don't know if it works, but I'm going to try it.
In other news, here in class, my teacher asked me if I'm attached to my shoes and compared women and shoes to men and their underwear. I don't exactly know how to feel about this.
New chapters coming soon!!!
Sending you good vibes and lots of love! 💕
Xoxo,
Dani
