I basically just wrote this and then realized I haven't eaten in like twelve hours. Fuck.
Time for bedtime tea, I guess.
Basically going to eat a handful of spinach crackers, half a spoon of sugar, and a yogurt. Greaaaaat healthy dinner, I know... Why? Blood sugar level is at a decent place, at a 6. But I lowkey panic about going low asleep and dying, so why not make my blood sugar kinda high so I feel comfortable going to bed?
This is why my doctors get so mad with me.
ALSO LITTLE BRO STOP SNORING SO LOUD I CAN HEAR YOU ON A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LEVEL OF THE HOUSE WHAT THE ACTUAL FRIG
... Let's just say snoring is one of those things that IRRITATES ME TO NO END.
Breathe, by all means, just be quiet about it.
Thanks for reading my crap by the way. Much appreciated. Feel free to message me, and votes or comments are always appreciated.
Hope all in your life is well, beautiful humans.
Xoxo, lots of love,
Dani
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Hello world. I should be doing homework, but as usual I'm slightly fucked up so I just can't put the effort in.
And thus, I write.
The weather is perfect right now actually. I like the feeling of sitting in a house and feeling the air blow around it. Provided, I'd rather the house not fall down on top of me. Anyways, that and the sound of the rain hitting the side of the brick is really calming me. The roll of thunder is relaxing as well. Why am I writing about the weather? I don't know. It's nice? It's a stereotypical I have no idea what the fuck to say so hey let's make a random conversation starter? Who the fuck actually cares.
Anyway, I just finished writing some morbid shit in my writers notebook. I don't even know where that crap comes from, but instead of being horrified by it now, there's just numbness. It is what it is.
I guess you're all expecting a rant, as this is part of a rant book. I guess I can fit one in here. Gimme a sec to think.
*smashes head on wall*
How about family acceptance of me as me? That seems like a decent thingy. Cue Peter Pan voice: Here we gooooooo!!!
(As you can probably tell, I feel like shit, hence the crappy quality of my writing. Sorry. I think. I don't really care to be honest.)
I've basically changed a lot in the last four years. I know this is to be expected, as the whole point of teenage years and the years of your early twenties is finding yourself. Basically I'm halfway there. I've evolved from being the kid who wears yoga pants every day, never swears and loves pop music to huge trencher (literally I don't know how my friends put up with me) that was still poppish and perky, and a wanna be punk. I've finally gotten to a point where I'm happy with who I am (not that I was unhappy with who I was before when I was that person, it's just never felt so right), and naturally, I find myself hoping that everyone else realizes this is me, this has always been me waiting to evolve, and this is the me you're stuck with for all eternity.
I think that this hope, this idea of people being okay with me, is not going to fucking happen.
Which is cool, I mean. I was bullied all throughout elementary. I've been abandoned by friends, and even some blood relatives I don't care to discuss. Why does this surprise me?
I don't know. I guess it all seems nice in your head when past you combines with new you, and you turn from a boring ass truck into let's say Optimus Prime (although Optimus is much cooler than me). You think people in your life will be cool with it. You could be wrong.
