Drama Queen (Kurt Cobain)

42

Away from rehab, Kurt was a bit happier.
"I don't want to go on tour." He said.
"I am not going on tour." He added. I couldn't tell if he was talking to me. He was looking into the mirror with a pained expression on his face.
"I am going to call my manager. I am through." He said. He walked out of the room. I didn't know what that meant for him. I didn't know if he was done with music. Done with the tour. I didn't think it really mattered. Life was easier but more depressing. Kurt and I laid around for the next week. Kathleen decided to leave and go back to her band. I was okay with that because I had Kurt.

He came into his room and sighed when he saw me.
"Hi." He smiled once he saw I was awake. He sat down on the bed beside me.
"River called while you were asleep." He said. I was laying with my back to him, I didn't respond.
"Are you sad?" He said softly. I stayed silent. He took off he shoes and he laid down beside me. He put his arm around me and nuzzled his face into the back of my neck. I stayed motionless and tense.
"What's wrong?" He asked as he pulled me closer. After awhile of asking me what was wrong he gave up. He rolled away from me. I assumed he was leaving but he took his jeans off and turned off the light. He laid down with me and cuddled close to me.
"I love you." He said in the dark. After a few more moments of silence on my part he finally gave up for good.
"Good night." He said quietly.

The next morning I woke up to light. There was quiet laughter between Krist and Dave. I rolled over so I was facing Kurt. He woke up as I rolled him over to his back and laid on his chest. He held me. His arms gently squeezed around my torso.
"How do you want to die?" I asked him
"Suicide, or something tragic. Before I'm 30." He said. I sighed.
"How do you want to die?" He asked me.
"Same I guess." I said. He gently rubbed my back.
"I'm getting up there." He said.
"You'll be 26 in 4 months."I said quietly. He sighed too.
"I don't want to get old." He said.
"Me either." I said.
"I have an idea. You can't judge me for it or think I'm crazy." He said.
"Okay." I said. I felt him talk through his chest.
"I want to die with you. Only with your choice, don't feel any pressure in such a serious, permanent thing. But I want to." He said.
"I'd like that." I said.