"Whatever. It is not like you can be better towards me."
"Shut up. I read a book of dating and I think I am ready to be your match."
"Ugh. If you are reading a book like that, I do not think that you should even tell me that."
"Oh...It is not in this book. Wait, let me check."
"NO! Just tell me what you want to say."
"Okay, maybe we can start with yesterday's phone call. What was that all about."
"It's a long story..."
"It's okay. I probably have a few ninety years till I die."
"FINE. It's just...that..."
"Yes? Yes?"
"Can you just shut the hell up while I talk?"
"Okay."
"SO, basically, my mother argues with my father all the time and you know, they divorced-like, not giving me a chance to speak at all. Then my mother had to move away to across the state and live with some f-ing widower with an f-ing son called f-ing Luke with the surname f-ing Gretching. I did not want to go with her as I knew Dad needed me and I just do not know how to feel about this. And then there is still the case of my ex-boyfriend who ditched me for my best friend. It is all so exhausting and everytime I think about it, it stresses me out. Then I met you and you were like, a hopeless romantic because you have no romantic experience whatsoever. And do not forget that there is still-"
"OKAY, I think that is enough. Do you ever take a breath?"
"Sorry, I just do not feel really well."
"That story is perfect!"
"Uh...who are you?"
"Oh, this is Em. You know the operator you called yesterday?"
"Why are you here?"
"Oh, I have to monitor your behaviour and stuff like that at random times."
"Oh, yeah."
"So..."
"..."
"..."
"That story is perfect!"
"What do you mean?"
"There is just so many twists and it even involves Luke! What a small world."
"Who IS Luke?"
"Uh..."
"Wait, you know him?"
"Do I not?"
"Guys- I mean, girls...I have no idea what both of you are talking about."
"Oh, wait. I am interrupting your conversation. Go on. I will just listen."
"Uh..."
"Back to your life story, please."
"Shut up. I have a mouthful of obscenities and profanities that I am not afraid to use."
"..."
"Pun unintended."
"Okay."
"So...your life?"
"Uh, well, I am Earl Clarkson. Handsome, professional, ruthless, handsome."
"I really feel like using my profanities right now."
"I bet you won't."
"Try me."
"..."
"Wait, so Earl?"
"Yes, my name."
"What do you like to drink?"
"Uh...tea?"
"Let me guess. Earl Grey tea?"
"Not funny."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"I don't appreciate your sense of humo-"
"HAHAHAHA!"
"Are you done yet-"
"HA! Okay, now I am done."
"You're weird."
"I might or might not have heard that before."
"Oh, you are warming up to me, aren't you?"
"What? No, I am not."
"Admit it. You are warming up to me."
"NO! I am hanging up right now-"
"DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!"
"Are all girls this weird?"
"No, you are just stupid."
"Girl power!"
"GIRL POWER!"
♕♕♕
Hello from the other siiiiiiiiiiiiii- Ahem ahem
Sorry.
Couldn't you just feel the Emness of Em? Is it good so far? Please comment, follow or vote if you love this!
Chapterly contest:
You walked down the streets one day and saw a woman doing yoga. What would you do next?
The funniest addition to the short statement above would get the dedication.
