Scars of our love n.h [editing]

chapter 4 - receiving help

I am in the dark alley again, the wind blows in my ears, I am so scared... my heart is racing and my hands trembling, I can feel someone's presence behind me.

"Hey little girl, how are you?" I freeze, I can't move, talk or even think "The cat ate your tongue? You're hot, even without tongue" The guy chuckles to himself at his own joke, he was starting to really scare me, the smell of alcohol ad cigarettes fills my nostrils.

 "I am 15, I am a child! Leave me alone pervert!" I scream in his face and he immediately shoves me into the wall and slaps me in the face. I cry in pain.

 "Shut up, and just enjoy" He puts his sweaty hand in my face, passing his fingers in my lips and kissing them, I bite his lip till I feel his blood in my mouth, trying to defend myself in everyway possible, he screams in pain and punches me in the stomach. 

He quickly recovers and starts to touch my breasts and I start to cry even more "HELP" I scream in hope that someone hears me and saves me.

"Shut up little bitch" he puts his hand in my thigh and pushes my skirt up, "no please!" he takes his pants out "open your legs slut" I don't do it, I froze again. He opens my legs and starts thrusting into me and the pain it's almost unbearable I scream and cry trying to get out of his arms"

"Melanie? Melanie please wake up, what's happening?" I open my eyes slowly and realize that I was having that bad "dream", I always pretend it's a dream and not a memory. "I am ok Niall, it was just a bad dream" I say trying toconvince both of us.

"That was a really bad dream you were crying and screaming, it took so long to wake you up, are you sure you're ok? I bet it was because of that stupid movie." I nod and he smiles and tries to hug me but I back away with my hands shaking.

"Don't touch me!" I almost scream he looks to me confused, I can't handle being touched right now, I fucking hate being touched, specially now.

 "What's happening, why can't I hug you?" He steps forward, I back away, he is scaring me right now I just want to be alone I don't want to see anybody, I seat on the ground embracing myself and crying, I am having a fucking panic attack near a stranger, what the hell is he doing in my house? Then I feel his arms around me and I try to run from him but he is stronger than me.

"Shhhh, calm down Mel." His voice is calm and sweet and he hugs me tighter and kisses my forehead, I freeze at the contact that I was trying to avoid and continue to fight for my freedom,

"Melanie I am way stronger than you, please stop before you hurt yourself,do you want to tell me what happened? I know you are having a panic attack, I used to have them too, you have to breathe and calm down." I refuse to talk with him, he washes away my tears and starts  humming a song trying his best to calm me down , I give up and stop fighting, I close my eyes and just hear his beautiful voice, falling asleep minutes later.

**

When I wake up he is still hugging me in his sleep, I try to break free from his arms but he hugs me tighter, I put one arm in the wall and another in the bed and jump, I am finally free but I end up waking Niall in the process.

"You didn't have to wake me up like that!" He grumbled while scratching his head "I am sorry, you weren't letting me go" I apologize and he mumbles something to himself.

"Can I take a shower?" He asks and I nod giving him a towel and indicating where the shampoo was and how to use the water tap "Melanie I have a bath at home too, I know how to take a shower" He smiles and I mumble a quick sorry and go to the living room, the floor is so cold so I sit on the sofa and embrace myself, I have so much to think about, I know I always had this dreams but last night it seemed so real, I even felt the pain.

I don't know how I am feeling right now, it's just a mixture of emotions. I've been with this guy two times before, and he spend the night comforting me, nobody has ever conforted me before. It was strange, Niall's presence made me feel scared and uncomfortable at the beggining but then, he made me feel safe. Why would he want to comfort me? He said something about having panic atacks too...

"Hey Mel, are you better now?" He says waking me up for my daydream and sitting himself on the sofa next to me. 

"Niall, I am so sorry for how I treated you, you were actually a big help to me." I see him smiling, proud of himself "But here everything is so different, I just met Jake and Jessie yesterday and they already treat me like we've been friends for years. And you...I was never the type of girl that let people in so easily but here you are, sleeping in my house." I pace around while talkig, a stupid habit of mine. " And that dream keeps haunting me and I just don't know who I am anymore. You see?" I suddenly stop talking when I realize what I am saying. Did I just have a verbal diarrhea? Yep, yes Î did. 

He looks surprised, he lifts himself from the sofa, he is probably going to leave because  he thinks I am a freak, but he hugs me, he smells so good.

"Listen to me Melanie" He says in my ear because we are still hugging each other which makes me a tad bit uncomfortable, I nod my head to show him that I am listening "First of all you don't have to be sorry, you were scared and it's perfectly normal, I just did what I had to do." I shake my head because he didn't have to stay with me, he could have let me alone. "Like when you let me in last night because I was scared too, and you helped me so I did the same, I hope one day you tell me what this awful dream is about, but I am not going to pressure you. Second I am sure you don't look yourself in the mirror a lot of times, you are beautiful. And your eyes just scream that youhave a great personality, that you protect what you believe in, that's the reason why everybody feels like you are their friend already." Whoa I didn't see that coming. "Third, you don't know who you are? Nor does anyone, we are always changing and transformating, we will always have to find ourselves. That's how the world works. I don't know what happened in the past, I don't know why you cut yourself, but I know you have a story and that you are that girl that hides herself, that doesn't let the others see what she really is, what she really feels, and why don't you let the others see your true self?" He says with his blue eyes piercing into my green ones and my heart suddenly stops.

"Because it's dark and ugly inside" I simply answer even knowing that was the kind of question that was supposed to be himself answering.

"No, it's because you are afraid, because you don't trust people." Yeah I don't but I have my reasons. I break free from his hug.

 "Are you a psychic or something? Am I that easy to read? It seems like you know what it is to be in my place." He tenses up, but immediatly recovers.

"Go dress yourself or we will be late to school." He says a bit harshly.