Scars of our love n.h [editing]

chapter 14- oh no!

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"So what did you mean with the "I will learn how to love him" thing? I thought you already did..." He looks me in the eyes and my body freezes. I can't keep lying, can I? No I can't, I have to tell him the truth.

"you want the truth?" I ask him and he nods "ok here it goes, I don't love you and I never did, i hate see people in pain, like you were, so I thought if I made you feel loved, it would help you but I guess I just caused you more pain." He waits for me to continue, he doesn't show any emotion, what makes me really nervous "And I told you I felt the same for you and we start dating, but you were so over protective and I started to hate you because I couldn't return your feelings, the truth is that I don't know what love is and I will never be able to love, but I care about you and that's why I made all this, I am sorry."

"And I thought I was the most fucked up one" his voice is cold, with no emotion, and I stay there, watching him leave.

I can't describe how I feel besides empty and numb, I kind of like it.

I open the door and more emptiness surrounds me, the lights aren't working, maybe because of the huge storm.

I finally get to the bathroom, after bumping with everything in the house.

I open the curtain and step inside the shower still dressed but I couldn't care less.

What the fuck did I do? Why do I always hurt people? Why am I always like this? I mean, I don't do it on purpose but I always end up alone with everyone around me mad at me.

I am really tired so I drink a cup of tea and try to sleep, in the moment that I turn off the old chandelier besides me, the taers quickly start streaming down my face and my body starts trembling and all the things that I am trying so hard to forget come floating to my mind, karma is a bitch,

I fall asleep moments after and I have numerous nightmares with my biggest fear, being alone but the worst of them was with Niall ki-killing himself, is hard just to think of that.

Niall! I try to scream but no sound comes out of my mind. I am scared, cold and I don't know what to do, his silhouette on the end of the cliff and the waves sound filling my ears. I see him open his arms, and he jumps, he doesn't look back, he doesn't remember me, and that fucking hurts, now how is a free bird that I won't be able to catch anymore. Just a shadow. Just a memory.

I shake my head to take away this dramatic thoughts and carry on with trying to wake up, I have difficulty to choose an outfit but I end up to dress some jeans, white converse, and a comfy sweat, I am not in the mood to dress better.

I aply some foundation to cover my ugly skin, my stomach grumbles and I decide to drink a full glass of water and a bubble gum to shut him up.

Finally I am in my car, I stop on the red signal and I see that I forgot my books, shit I am going to be late.

I turn around and I quickly arrive home, I immediately spot the pile of books in the table so I grab them and run to the car.

I have 10 minutes to get to school. I am almost there when a car hits mine. I get out of the car, furious.

"Are you fucking serious?!" I scream to the sky. My anger dies a little bit when I see an old lady getting out of the other car.

"Oh, sorry darling, I didn't see you there, I really need to get new glasses, are you ok?" The old lady asks.

"Yeah I am, but I am late to school, and this is going to take long, argh" My anger grows again and I just want to disappear, worst morning of my life.

"And if we do like this? I give you money to you to fix your car and you can go to school and we don't need to call the police." What? does she have like 200 dollars with her? I nod my head and I see her entering in the car.

She takes her wallet and gives me 20 dollars, is she serious right now? I groan and enter in the car, I really need to go to school but I still hear her saying how rude I am, yeah right.

I arrive to school and everyone looks at me, yeah I know I am late but I just arrived 1 minute late, everybody is still outside the classes anyway.

I see two girls looking at me with disgust and I roll my eyes, what's happening here? My heart starts beating when I sit in the classroom and everyone is staring at me including the teacher, I quickly check myself in a small mirror that I keep in my bag but everything is alright, what the fuck?

"Guys! Please, attention!" Teacher calls and everyone turns around to look at her "Like everyone knows Niall has transferred school, and we are going to miss him but we have to keep going." She gives me a dirty look, everyone loved Niall in this school.

Wait. What? Niall? Transferred? Please no.

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I am so sorry! I wattpad didn't let me post anything and I don't know why, school is so hard and I have to study so hard, I am doing my best to update, thanks for waiting. In the side you have a lyrics video of the perfect 'story of my life' that I made.

hope you like it,

guida xx