Scars of our love n.h [editing]

chapter 8 - cold blue eyes

CHAPTER 8

“Girls wake up, I have to go to school and I have to drop you before” They open their eyes and I turn my face away before they can see my bloodshot eyes.

I go to the bathroom my heart is hurting and I can’t think in other thing to relieve the pain so I search for something that I didn't use for too long, my blade.

I make two small cuts in my leg and immediately I feel good and free. I cover it with some ligature and put my jeans and a salmon top with a grey cardigan and my grey toms. My old routine, cut-pretend I am okay- sleep, and another day starts.

I put tons of foundation in my face to cover my cheeks and eyes, I don’t understand why he acted like that, He is the only one that saw my scars so I feel some sort of connection towards him if he is mad with my I am sad.

“Good morning” They both say.

“Hey, how did you sleep?” They answer good and I make some sandwiches and chocolate milk for them.

“Thanks for yesterday, it was the best day of my life” Katie says smiling and Alana nods agreeing with her

“Where is your boyfriend?” She is cute but she asks too many questions.

“He is not my boyfriend Katie.”

“But he will be” Not in this life I think but I keep that to myself.

“You look sad.” Alana says with worry in her eyes

“I am very happy to have you here, I just didn’t sleep well” I am so good at lying but they just can read me so good.

“Don’t lie!” Katie says squeezing my hand

“I don’t know Niall is acting weird with me.” I look down I just can’t look to them right now, they have much bigger problems than me but here I am complaining about my life.

“And you don’t know why, right?” I nod, see what I say? They read me like an open book.

“Everything is going to be alright” Katie and Alana hug me and I hug them back.

“Fairy power” Katie screams and starts laughing and chuckle at her.

We drive to the hospital and I can see they are sad, because they don’t like to be there.

“Girls don’t be sad, when the treatment it’s over you can go home for some days, right?” I try to make them happy with the idea of going home for some months.

“That’s not why we are sad!” Alana answers and I give them a questioning look.

“You spend a day with us and now you are never going to visit us.” They look to the ground and Katie grabs my leg crying, I was not expecting this.

“Of course I am going to come back, I will visit you at least one time a week!” They look to me with hope in their eyes.

“Pinky promise?” Katie asks letting go of my leg and I lock my pinky with hers and hug them.

I drive to school feeling nervous too see Niall, I hope he isn’t angry with me, I don’t deserve him as a friend he is too good to me and I fucked up last night, I don’t know how but I always manage to ruin everything.

I try to calm myself down when I see the white school building, I immediately find a place to my car, as soon as I step out of the car I hear someone scream my name, I turn around to find Niall’s friends but he is not with them. “Hey!” I say to them timidly even if they are very nice to me I still feel shy.

“hey Melanie sorry for yesterday.” They look to me and I try to remember what happened, oh the joke about me and him having sex.

“oh it’s okay, it wasn’t because of you I was feeling sick” I lie and they smile to me.

“So what did you do in these 2 days? Niall missed school too” Jessie winks at me.

“Did he? I didn’t know. I went to do volunteering” I don’t know why I lied about Niall but it just happened.

“oh good, volunteering for what?” Kate asks with a dimpled smile.

“kids with cancer” I whisper remembering all those kids, immediately I feel guilty because I didn’t pay attention to all of them.

“Oh, that’s sad, what did you do there?” Kate seems really interested.

“I talked to the kids, the point is making them feel a little better” I give her a small smile

“I always wanted to do volunteering!” I smile at her excitement.

We stay there talking about what I missed in classes and Niall arrives.

“What are you doing here? Please leave.” He says to me, his eyes in a cold blue. I get up and start walking but someone grabs my arm and I can’t help feel a little bit disappointed when I see that it’s not who I wanted to be, Niall.

“What? No she is not going to leave!” Chris says and Kate nods.

“Who says?” he looks to them defiantly

“Us” They all say and I look to them confused.

“So I am the one that leaves, you were supposed to be my friends not hers.” He gives me a side glance and leaves. My heart breaks.

“what shit did he sniffed to be like that?” Joe says while watching Niall leave.

“His own poop!” Paul screams and everyone laughs but me.

“Weren’t you supposed to be his friends?” I ask feel confused, why are they standing up for me?

“And we are yours too! Niall has this days that he is mad at the whole world and we can’t do anything to help him because he pushes us away, so we just ignore him and two days later everything is good again.” Kate answers

“What happened between you too?” Jessie whispers in my ear so I am the only one that can hear it “even if he was in his days he wouldn’t be like that towards you, I bet you found some place in his heart”

I look to her questionable and she takes my hand and starts walking away pushing me with her.

“Niall hides a lot, I don’t know what but I know that when someone is almost finding a part of it he acts like this, it happened to me.”

“What do you know about him?” I ask her I can’t help feel curious about the reason why he acts like this.

“something about his mom, but it is not my story to tell.” I remembered that day in the shop where he said something about his mom and she understood it.

“it’s okay.” I simply answer. I will find anyway.

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cereals and milk to everyone x