Scars of our love n.h [editing]

Chapter 16- run into the wild

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Life really sucks if you are not pretty, rich or both and in my case nothing of that will be ever possible for me, this first week in the new school has been hell, fuck anyone that says that Irish people are lucky, because I am definitely fucking not!

Trevor has been beating me up and humiliating me in front of all the school an I mean ever body, all students gather in the patio to see, it's like a fucking psycho ritual,  the interesting thing is that nobody and I mean, nobody does anything about it. It's so unfair, I am new, I am trying to get along with everybody, I did nothing wrong to anyone, so why does he blame me for everything that is wrong with is fucking life, I really don't understand, girls want to fuck him and all male population around campus wants to be like him, he is and has everything a human being could dream about,I really don't understand... Arghhhh.

My legs hurt because I have to wake up every morning super early to train my running with my house mate, Mr.Chester the physics teacher that I now treat for Ches, he is cool, we've became pals, he is Irish too, his life wasn't the best when he was younger he had drug problems, he lived in a problematic neighborhood in Detroit , when his brother died shot by some gang, he decided he had to do something, so he started going to school, having great marks and working really hard, he lately got a job and got the money to rehab, now he teaches in one of the best schools of england, he has some problems but he is a great person when you get to know him better, it's strange having this connection with him but it feels good to have a friend even if he wakes me up everyday at 5am to train before school and there is nothing I can do, yeah life sucks.

Melanie comes to my mind like every fucking morning, looking more beautiful than in the day before, all I can think is how she's feeling? Is she eating? Is everyone treating her good? After all this questions I can stop thinking if her depression is better, I hope her nightmares did haunt her too much. A silent tear runs down my face, I miss her so much, even if she hurt me, she was like a warm blanket in the cold winter, a coffee in mondays, butter in bread, pizza and me. She really was my safe port but now is all gone, I was the one to run away but I feel like she was the one that run away from me.

The thing that I can stop thinking is that if I had stayed, and waited to see what was going to happen, if we really could become a couple? would she really start to love me? Maybe it's stupid but every fucking day I think if this was the right choice, I am not happy, that's for sure. I really have to let go, this is making me feel bad, and I have to get away from all the things that get me hurt, even if I love them... 

I join the cereals to the milk and wait for them to get softer because my jaw still hurts from Trevor's last punch, I think the reason was because I got a better time in running than him, seriously who in their perfect mind would punch someone just because of that? He is completely fucking sick.

"Are you ready Niall?" I groan in answer while I roll my eyes, I am so tired. "Sorry kiddo, I personally think it's too much for you but I can't do anything, the ass face John may dismiss me if I do something wrong." I laugh at the hate that he feels for his boss, the school's principal, he really is an ass.

"I know Ches, but I feel so tired, my legs hurt so much" I say while I put the empty bawl and the dirty spoon in the dishwasher.

"Maybe today instead of doing what we normally do, we could just enjoy running so we could go the country, I know the perfect place!" I groan for the fifth time today, at least is better than doing the same thing everyday.

During the small trip I let my mind flow and I immediately drift to sleep, I really am tired, dreams about what would've happen if I had jumped to the dark paradise in that day fills my sleep. I wake ten minutes after and just stand there frozen, fresh air fills my lungs, all I can see is beautiful mountains, the sound of the ocean against the rocks is music to my ears, my legs start to feel weird and in one second I am outside the car, running like crazy, the feeling of freedom is amazing.

"Boy, wait for me!" I hear Ches screaming but I ignore it and just continue to run into the wild like crazy. The screams from Ches saying I am going to get lost quickly fade as I get away from him.

Tears start to fall from eyes, I don't know why, maybe happiness, maybe sadness? I wipe them away, I stop running, I look to them in my fingers and all of sudden I let an animalistic scream leave my mouth, scaring the birds around me and even myself. The scream is so raw, so crude, like I just let everything that worries me come out, and it felt damn fucking good. So I scream again, and again, and again...

I fall to the ground tired as shit, the sea right in front of me, I can feel small droplets of water hit me in the face even if I am a lot higher than the ocean, the wind is so strong, like you couldn't even hear anything , that seems to snap something in my mind, I look around, where. the. hell. am. I?

I look around in panic, I don't recognize anything, I start running again, my mind blank with fear, what am I going to do? I start getting hungry and thirsty, and tired and... Arghhh.

I get close to the end of the rock, my mind completely buzzing, woah it's high. If someone jumped they would die... oh.

"Niall!" I hear Chez screaming but everything is already black.

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I am so sorry for not updating, my life has been upside dpwn, how was your christmas? and new year? mine was good! Tell me what you received in christmas. hugs for all.

hope you like it,

Guida xx