Conflicting Black(ON HOLD)

Conflicting Black Prt 2

Groaning, I sat up in bed looking around the small cramped space that I call my room, as i rub the sleep from my eyes. With it's faded floral walls, double bed, bean bag and small dresser it's as cosy as it'll get, and the safest place in the house.
Not even my dreams are safe.
Its been 13 years since that dreadful day and every time I close my eyes I have the same dream, sometimes I wonder if it's fate that has cursed me with nothing but negativity in my life.

Growing up without a mother was hard but growing up in a small community where almost no one moves into and everyone's skin is lighter than yours and they are all racist was even harder. With no one to protect you because the only family you have is just the same as all the others.

Father's are suppose to be that special someone who all daughters can like up to as their prince and he calls them princess are any other embarrassing name that dads love to use. But no, my father who is to be that one person who is suppose to love, care, and be there for me does the opposite and abuses and neglects me, making my like a challenge in itself.

Getting up out of bed I tip toed towards my room door as silently as possible, putting my hand on the nob I gently turned the door handle and push the door open but the loud creaking sound of the door had me wincing as it sounded like thunder in the deafening silence.

Looking up and down the hall way I didn't see any signs of life, letting out the breath I was holding I straightened up and dash towards the bathroom. Closing the bathroom door behind me as gently as possible I did my morning business and was ready to leave when I stopped in front of the mirror and took a long hard look at myself like I usually do, waiting for something to happen but like usual nothing happens and all I see is black! Black hair, black skin, black beady eyes staring right back at me.

Wiping the moisture from my eyes that had formed I walked out of the bathroom and went to get ready for my first day of senior year.

Its a new school term and I'm sure nothing has change, starting my senior year and also just turning 18 today as well, but who cares? No one that's who.

Taking out my favourite faded blue jeans and grey long sleeve turtle neck, I slipped on my well worn converse and went down stairs, stopping at the end of the stairs I looked around to see if my 'dad' was lazing around like he usual does. When all I see is the usual beer covered floor and furniture void of anything to show who lives here, I knew he must be out with his usual drinking buddies, I hope that when he come home later he will be in a better mood because I'm running out of make up to cover up all these bruises. With the small amount of money i get from him its only enough to buy food.

All pictures of mom we're taken down after the first year, cause if I remember correctly my dad's words we're;

"That b*tch decided to leave me so I don't wanna see her face again"
All I can do now is shake my head. Making my way towards the kitchen I saw shy my cat. "Morning!" I said to the only person I think cares.
Going towards the fruit bowl I grabbed and apple and went through the front door and quickly, locking up the house, I started to make my way towards school.
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