Loving the Game

* Choices *

• Deshawn's POV •

I had completely messed up with Brianne. I admit my choice of words wasn't that great when it came to describe where we stood. Casual dating. I know now to never use that one again. I just wanted her to get the fact that we weren't together (even though I'm now sure she already knew that) but yet that I enjoyed her company without being rude about it but I guess I should've just kept quiet. Like I said before it's not the fact that I didn't like her it's just that I don't need to be catching no feelings right now for any female. I hope I didn't blow it with her completely.
Like it wasn't hard enough having to deal with signing pro being a few months away. I had an enormous decision to make. Any choice you have to make involving your future is a big deal anyways. Was it going to be the NBA or was it going to be using my degree in education and become a teacher? I had been procrastinating on my decision ever since my final season at CSU started. There was only two women in my life that I trusted to give me some straight forward advice on what to do. That was my mom, Denise, and my little sister, Destiny. I planned on calling them tomorrow to give my usual check up and discuss my unbalanced life.
For now I was going to lay down and try to get some rest, but one thing kept me from getting a real good night's sleep: Brianne King.

I woke up to the sound of loud music coming from my neighbor's apartment. I didn't live in the dorms like most of the other kids on campus. I stayed in a decent apartment complex 10 minutes away from campus. It was paid for by the school since my scholarship only covered boarding, books, and meal plan. My tuition was all mine to pay. I was behind just like every other college student and previous graduate when it came to loans. I was about $1000+ in on student loans. Yet I still wasn't worried.
I knew I'd pay Sallie Mae off one day.
I yawned as I looked at my phone to see if I had any messages. None from Brianne, but there was one from Ashleigh.

Text from: Ash
Time: 7:15 a.m.
Message: we should talk

I ignored the text message. The last person I wanted to do some talking with was with Ash. I got up out of bed and headed for the shower. I liked taking long warm showers, so I stayed in and lathers up for a good 25-30 minutes. When I was finished I stepped out and just left the towel around my waist as I brushed my teeth. One thing my mom always taught me was no girl wanted a dark skin nigga with yellow teeth. So I lived by that when it came to my teeth. I only used crest and rinsed my mouth with peroxide to give it that shiny, white texture.

I was the only one out of my mom and sis that was dark skin. My momma said I got that from my father. Destiny and I had two different dads. Neither one lived in the house, but the thing that separated her dad from mine is that he was still active in her life. He would take her to cheerleading practice and pick her up from school if momma needed. As for me, I haven't seen my sperm donor since I was 10. That was around 11 years ago. He had only tried to contact me once after that, but I didn't answer the phone. Even though my mother begged me to speak to him. He chose to walk out on me and I've never and will never forgive him for that.

I put on a black tee, some jeans, and my black air forces. It was just going to be a chill type of day for me since I had no classes today.
The clock read 10:07 so I decided to FaceTime my mom and sister now.
I waited patiently for them to answer as I sat there making faces at the camera.
"My baby," my momma smiled happily as her face appeared on my iPhone screen.
"Aye pretty lady," I smiled back.
"Aww, look at my handsome baby boy. Oh, doesn't time fly," she said shaking her head.
I nodded," Yea. So how's it going over there?" My mom and my sister still lived on the west side of Chicago which was still a good drives away from where Chicago State is. (Which is on the south side.) I didn't visit as much as I possibly could.
"Fine just fine," she answered then my sister's face appeared in the background. Destiny had that big toothy smile on her face as she always had when she saw me.
"I miss you," Destiny laughed as she waved at me.
"I miss you, too. Both of y'all."
"How's school going?" Destiny asked. Ever since I had gone of to college she had been fascinated since I was one of the first in our family to go. My momma told us that we were going to do better than her even if it killed her. She worked two jobs just to support us. During the day she worked at a diner downtown and in the evenings she worked at a hair and nail salon shop. She did her best to make ends meet, and we were both grateful for that. All her hard work was helping assist me paying for my tuition every semester. I promised her I was going to make her proud...someday. I've always tried to help assist in helping her with bills and anything else around the house since I was 12. But my mom didn't want anything to do with how I got that money. I never straight up told her where I got it from but there was no doubt she knew.
"It's straight. Just preparing for this signing and all. Don't know what I should do." I admitted.
"What you mean you don't know!?" My momma fussed.
I lightly laughed," Going pro is a lot, ma."
"Yeah it is, but you only got one shot at doing that."
"True, but being a math teacher...you know I enjoy doing that."
"Mmmhh," she frowned," but what you fail to realize is, baby, is that you're going to always have that damn degree. Can't nobody take that away from you. I can't take take that from you. It will always be there, so whenever you get old and decide you can't play ball anymore...that will be something you can fall back on." My mom informed me. This is why I loved talking to her. Always had all the right things to say.
"But momma's not bout to sit here make you do something. You're not my dependent no more. You're a grown man out here now. I trust that you will do right for you. Not for nobody else. Damn them." She fussed.
I laughed and just nodded because I knew she was right.
I could hear Destiny laughing in the background.
"Now, tell me bout them fast ass girls," my momma let out a slick smile with one eyebrow raised.
"I'm your girlfriend," Destiny joked," better not be cheating."
"While you talking you better not be messing round with them ugly ass boys," I warned her. I was very protective of her. She was 16 now and I know what it's like to be at that age. I especially know what lil niggas trying to do at that age. I was one of them.
Destiny just smiled and shook her head no, but I know better than to trust that.
"There is no girls," I told them. Ma smacked her lips,"You a damn lie!"
I laughed," Well maybe one."
"Who?" They asked in unison, eyes big as rocks.
I shook my head," Just a girl I'm seeing, well...was seeing. I think I kind of blew it though." I was referring to Destiny of course.
"What you do?" Destiny asked rolling her eyes.
" I just...it's complicated. I just want to chill with her for now. I'm not interested in being committed." I admitted.
"See that's a damn shame," momma shook her head at me," you act like you ain't got no time to be with somebody."
"That's because I don't, momma."
"Lies if you ask me," Destiny chimed in.
"If you don't hush little girl," I told her," you wouldn't understand."
"I don't even think you understand D," my momma said. Which is also true. "All I'm going to say to you is that as long as she ain't that Thot-Ashleigh girl then I'm fine."
"It's not," I reassured her," and what do you know about a thot?" I wondered.
"Just know you got a cool momma," she laughed. I smiled.
"Just give it a chance now Deshawn," she said still talking about my love life.
I nodded,"I'll try to."
"Good. Now get off my line cause I got to go to work and take your sister back to school with her doctor's excuse."
"Ight, love you guys, man." I reminded.
"We love you, too," they both said before the call declined.
Every time I spoke to them my day was always good. Maybe I should give it a chance with Bri and apologize, I thought to myself.