Love Is A Battlefield.

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"I'm gonna head home babe," Chris said a couple days later, getting up from the bed and slipping his shoes on. We had just finished watching Halloween: H20.

"Okay, but, could I talk to you real quick?" I asked. I had put this off for far too long. I needed to D.T.R.

"Of course," he said and sat back down on the bed.

I took a deep breath. "Umm, so we've been..umm..you know, for a while right?" He nodded. "Okay, and this has been kind of bothering me for a little while and I completely understand if-"

"Kari," he said. I sighed.

"What are we?" I asked. He looked almost confused.

"What do you mean?"

"I think you know," I said. He looked down at his hands then back up at me.

"I like you a lot, and these past couple months with you have been great, but I'm not sure I'm ready to be in a relationship," he said. I looked away from him. "Kari."

I looked back up at him, trying not to look hurt.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"You have no reason to be sorry," I said. I could feel his eyes on me but I wouldn't meet them. He eventually stood after a few silent moments and kissed my cheek.

"I'll text you," he said and walked out the door.

"I love you," I whispered to myself as a tear fell from my eye.

I'm not gonna say that didn't hurt, rejection always does. I would be lying if I said I didn't want something more than just sex. But Chris and I were friends. Maybe I should look at it that way. We would always be just friends.

I saw this coming.

I guess what hurts the most is knowing that I'm so fucking in love with him that I can't think straight, and he just doesn't feel the same, but God, did it feel like he did.

Maybe I didn't love Chris, maybe my mind just thought I did because he took care of me after Kyran and I broke up. Maybe I just didn't know what love was. And I would never figure it out with Chris. Oh no. Sex is the best thing a girl like me could get. Nothing more, even if I wanted more.

Just like Pat Benatar says, love is a battlefield, and that's one war I won't be drafted to.

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