My Heart In Your Hands.

And Outside It Looks Like Rain.

My phone vibrated and I sat up on my bed. It was from Chris.

Chris: Can you come over? We need to talk.

I sighed and looked at the pictures of us around my room. Who knew what he was gonna say? But I went to his house anyways.

I pulled up to the sidewalk and got out. Chris was standing on the porch, his arms on the railing. I walked up next to him and smiled. He just kept looking towards the street. Usually he couldn't keep his eyes off of me, and now he wouldn't even take a second glance.

He walked into the house and I followed. Minutes of uncomfortable tension went by before a word was spoken.

"Chris-" I started, but he cut me off.

"What did I do?" He asked.

"Huh?" I asked, confused.

"You haven't talked to me in, like, two weeks, and then I see you and you don't say anything to me and try to make me jealous with some other guy," he said. I was a little shocked.

"I wasn't trying to make you jealous," I lied. He laughed harshly.

"Bullshit," he said then took a deep breath, looking at me straight in the eyes. His normal soft, deep brown eyes were filled with anger. "So, is he some other guy you were just sleeping with, too?"

"Excuse me?" I said. Did he just call me a slut?

"Come on Kari, you can't tell me I'm the only one you did that with," he said. "What the fuck would make me so special?"

I didn't say a word. I couldn't want to tell him how I felt. He already rejected me once.

"And then you come here and you act like nothing is fucking wrong-"

"Why are you so angry?" I asked. He didn't have that right.

"How the fuck would you feel if I was flirting with some other girl right in front of you on purpose? You would fucking lose it, and you know it," he said.

"It's different though," I said, trying to be calm.

"How?" He questioned, his voice rising.

"Because I'm in love with you!" I practically yelled. "And I wasn't just fucking using you for sex."

"I wasn't using you for sex," he said.

"Bullshit. You can't be sleeping with someone for as long as we did, said the things that you said, did the things that we did, then tell them you don't want them but say you weren't using them," I said.

"I didn't say I didn't want you," he said. I rolled my eyes.

"What the fuck ever Chris, you know that's exactly what was going on. Excuse me for trying to find someone who actually wants me in return," I said.

"You weren't trying to get over me. And I thought you were okay with it. Everything happened so fast after Carlie and I broke up, and Kyran cheated on you and," he said, starting to trail off. I dint want to hear any of it. I was so annoyed, as was he. "So you know what, fuck this, everything we had is done. Go ahead and fuck around with some other guy. This is bullshit."

I had to get out of here. I knew If I stayed I'd say something I'd regret. I was at the door before I said the next thing, a regreatable thing. It's like my brain had no filter. "Fuck you Chris."

"Kari," he said, almost sounding sincere. I really just wanted to say I was sorry and run into his arms and kiss him. I looked at him, prepared to apologize, and saw a smirk on his face. "You already did."

I walked out and went home, anger flaring up inside me.

I can't believe I spent all this time wanting to be with this guy. I didn't want to feel like this. I will not allow myself to feel anything for Chris anymore. I can't love him. I can't.

When I eventually got home, I went straight to my room and started to throw every picture of him and I into a shoe box. I threw the roses he got me in it and lastly, I took off the necklace he got me for my birthday and put it in the box.

What if it was just a fight and we can get through this? Don't do anything stupid Kari, my heart taunted me. I ignored it and did the stupidest thing possible: I threw the box out the window.

I immediately regretted it and took off outside. What did I do?

The box looked like someone drove over it or something. I pulled the lid off. There was glass from the framed pictures. The roses were a little bit messed up, but when I saw the necklace, I lost it. There was a crack right down the middle of the heart, the onyx stone looking like it was ready to fall apart at any moment.

I cried hard. Why did I do this?

I felt long arms wrap around me, one covered in tattoos and the other not, and I buried my face into long dark hair. I felt someone trying to pull the necklace from my hand and I immediately protested.

"I'm just going to put it in the box Kari, you're bleeding," Manny said. I glanced down at my hands and saw small shards of glass in them. Kuza picked me up and carried me into the apartment and to the bathroom, sitting me on the toilet.

He started to pull the shards out of my hands, causing me to jerk back away from him. It didn't work so well. He had a strong grasp on my arms and I wasn't going anywhere. Eventually that pain was over and he put my hands over the sink and started to clean them. Damn Manny for only owning rubbing alcohol. After that torture, he wrapped my hands up, sat on the edge of the bathtub and looked at me.

"What happened?" He asked.

Thinking about it brought me to tears again. "He hates me."

"No he doesn't," Kuza said, pushing my hair behind my ear.

"Yes he does," I said, wiping a tear from my eye.

"Why do you think that?" He asked, his voice soft.

I whimpered slightly. "H-he said he didn't want a relationship."

"That doesn't mean he hates you," he said.

I shook my head. "Yes it does. You didn't see him. He was so mad at me, and I just want to know why. He said he didn't want to be with me." Kuza pulled me into his arms again and let me cry. "I love him Kuza."

"I know," he said, holding me tight. I cried for at least an hour, if not longer. Kuza never let me go once, just spoke to me softly, telling me everything was going to be okay.

Eventually Manny walked in and Kuza summoned her over. She took his place and he planted a soft kiss on my cheek. "I'll be back. There's something I need to do."

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I'm just gonna take this time to say I think Kuza is SO perfect.(: