a/n: a silly lil idea that came to me a few days ago, let's see how this goes
Calum wasn't supposed to be awake at 3am, thinking about the boy he loves. He wasn't supposed to be thinking about the fact that they hadn't talked in two weeks, or that he hadn't seen him in five months. He wasn't supposed to even remember Luke's name.
But then again, it was hard to forget the name of the person you loved for three years, and knew for even longer than that. It was hard to not think of the way they made you feel when you were together, and even harder to not think of the way they make you feel when you're apart.
"Fuck!" Calum groaned, rolling over and shoving his face in his pillow. His room-mate, Mikey, was snoring blissfully in the bed across the room from his, and he turned to glare at the blue-haired boy in envy. He wanted to sleep like that, but instead, he was up thinking about Luke.
Damn Luke, with his bright blue eyes and stupid jokes. With his contagious laughter and his need to make everyone happy, especially Calum.
Calum had known it was a bad idea to not try and keep in touch with Luke, but then again, it would probably have been an even worse idea to keep up their relationship. Even though he loved Luke more than he could express, they knew it was for the best to break things off, just for the time they had to spend apart.
But honestly, Calum couldn't take it anymore. He needed to get everything off of his chest. He couldn't talk to Luke, couldn't outright admit these feelings, but he was going to let them be known somehow.
So with a groan, he hoisted himself out of his bed, grabbed his phone that had been lying on the bedside table, and stepped out of his dorm. He made his way downstairs to the common room, nodding to a couple people who were still up, and sat down on a beanbag the furthest away from the entrance. Tucked away in his corner, he unlocked his phone, his teeth coming to bite at his bottom lip. He knew this was a bad idea, but he knew Luke. Luke wouldn't see this until morning, and by then, Calum would probably have gathered up the courage to face him. Probably.
Taking a breath, he thought over what he was going to say. He was going to leave a voicemail, saying that he missed him and that he didn't want to call at 3am but he had no other choice. He was going to say that he still loved Luke, and hang up with no immediate need to answer the blond's inevitable questions.
When he was sure he knew what he was going to say, he called Luke. He pressed the phone to his ear, waiting for the noise to finally leave way for Luke's voicemail greeting.
When the ringing stopped, a greeting did follow... Just not the one Calum was expecting.
"Calum? Are you alright?"
Fuck. Calum's eyes widened, his heart rate increasing exponentially. He had not planned this. Luke wasn't supposed to be awake, he was supposed to be asleep, dreaming about penguins and puppies.
"Oh, uh-" Calum was choking on his words. "Why the hell are you awake??"
"I could ask you the same," the boy on the other end answered, his voice unsure.
Calum ran a hand through his curls, tugging at the blond and brown hair. He sighed deeply. "I thought you'd be asleep."
"Oh. No, I'm up, studying... Wait. Why would you call if you thought I was asleep?"
Calum took a breath. "I just... Wanted to... Uh..."
He heard Luke chuckle from the other end of the line. "Calum, just say it."
The brunet sighed, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. "I just want to say that I bloody miss you. I miss seeing your stupid face everyday and texting you about the dogs I see in the streets. I know this is what we wanted, and that it's for the best, but I can't stop the way I feel."
Luke was silent for a moment, long enough for Calum to start panicking. He opened his eyes, looking up at the ceiling, and let out a deep breath.
"I miss you, too."
At that, Calum's breath hitched. "What?"
"I miss you, too," Luke repeated, even though he knew Calum had heard it loud and clear the first time.
"Oh."
"Oh?"
"Oh. Uh. Wow, um, I didn't really expect that response."
"Why not?"
"I don't know," Calum answered sheepishly, rubbing at his eye. "I kinda thought you were happy with this whole arrangement."
"Why would you think that?"
"Because," Calum huffed. "Because. I don't know. I just... You know what, never mind. Forget I even called."
"Calum, talk to me." Luke's voice was stern. He knew how to deal with Calum, after many years of experience. "Why would you think I'm happy with our arrangement?"
"Because you just seem to be so together, Luke. I don't know," Calum grumbled. "It just seems as though... I dunno. This whole thing is working out for you."
"It is working out for me," Luke admitted, causing Calum's heart to drop. "But that doesn't mean I don't miss you. That doesn't mean I wouldn't be happier with you by my side. It's working out, but I mean, it's not ideal."
"Oh."
"Oh?"
"I'm gonna come see you next weekend." Calum's voice was determined.
The brunet could hear the smile in Luke's voice when he answered, "I'm looking forward to it, Calum."
a/n: eh this was just something to get back into the swing of writing. Hopefully it works!! :-(
