A & M Imagines

Past Tense

We were so happy. So happy that I felt there's no other emotion in this world but happiness. It was perfect. You were perfect. Weekly dates, 3AM calls, weekend visits, and spontaneous trips to the beach or to Tagaytay. I lost count of the bouquet of flowers you sent me, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. My sisters used to tease me, "Meng, pwede ka na magpatayo ng flower shop. Araw-araw may pa-bulaklak." I would just laugh it off and would tell them, "Inggit lang kayo!". We used to have a cook-off every time we have our day off and the loser washes the dishes. Love, I know you purposely make me win just so I wouldn't wash the dishes 'cause you know how much I hate doing them. You used to sing to me over the phone until I fell asleep. There's a lot more that we used to do but remembering them brings an all too familiar feeling. A feeling I don't want to feel anymore.

I don't know what happened, but one day, everything just stopped. You stopped. No more calls. No more spontaneous trips. No more flowers. No more cook off. No more ME & YOU. No more US. I always asked myself what I did wrong. I know I gave everything. Boy, did I gave everything. There were so many questions and possible answers on my mind but I came up with only one realization: I WASN'T ENOUGH. No matter how much I gave, I wasn't enough. No matter how much effort I put into the relationship, it wasn't enough. Maybe I was blinded by my feelings for you, but looking back at it now, there were so many signs that I could've taken as you slipping away. At first it was unanswered calls. I shrugged it off thinking that your work is really demanding. Then the weekend visits became less frequent. You tell me, "Sobrang busy lang talaga, love." Of course, I believed you. No matter how many times my gut tells me not to, I always chose to believe you. You're always busy that even when we're supposed to be chilling, you're glued to your phone attending to your business......aka Jillian.

Yes, I knew about Jillian. You excused yourself to go to the bathroom and you left your phone. Your phone beeped and I tried my hardest not to look at it, I really did, but my "girlfriend instincts" won't let me rest so I took a peek. I shouldn't have but I can't take back what I saw. On your phone screen was her name along with her message, "I had fun last night. 😘" When you cam back I asked what you did the night before and your answer? "Wala lang. Sa bahay, natulog magdamag 'cause I was so tired from work." You know what? I still believed you. I can't believe I did. Maybe I was too in love with you that I chose to shrug everything off just to keep you. What a selfish and dumb thing to do, I know, but you can't blame me. I was just a girl head over heels in love.

One time, I called you and maybe you weren't looking at your caller ID before answering because you accidentally (?) called me by her name. Again, I shrugged it off and asked you how was work. You told me you'll call me back because – surprise! – you're busy. I was starting to grow impatient with your excuses (yay! Finally, Maine!). I invited my friends to a night out because it's been a long time since I had a time for myself. I went to the salon to get all dolled up, went to the mall to buy myself a beautiful dress and a new pair of shoes. I asked you what you're going to do that night and you said you'll be at home pulling an all-nighter because of all those "damn papers".

What I didn't know, "at home" meant the bar and "damn papers" meant a bunch of girls...including Jillian (I did my research, love. 😉). My friends pointed me to your direction and I told them not to mind you. I lied that I knew you'll be there to have  a "meeting" with your female colleagues. Of course, they thought it was unusual to have a meeting inside a noisy place like a bar but they didn't say anything. I was expecting myself to cry, but no tears came out. That was it. That was my last straw. You lied to me again, and I don't know how many times you already did, but I was done with it. I'm tired. If you can't be honest with me, at least I'll be. After a while, I heard a little commotion over your table. I asked my friend what it was all about and she said a certain Jillian's boyfriend was making a scene. His back was facing me so I didn't get to take a look at his face but I can see how mad he was. His friend went to him and even had a word war with Jillian. His friend just called Jillian a b*tch and you came to her defense. I felt a pang of jealousy, but like what I always do, I shrugged it off. I saw how the two guys went out of the bar and I saw how you comforted Jillian. Suddenly, I was walking in your direction.

"Hi, love!" I greeted you and you were surprised. I smiled at you and at everyone at the table. I asked how was your "damn papers" but you only stared at me, still holding Jillian, before you stood up and reached for me. I stopped you and said the words that I know you've been itching to say. "Miggy, let's break up." Before you can even say a word, I made my way to the door. Before I reached my car, I heard someone screaming. "Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!! Tang*na!!!! P*t*ng i*a talaga!!!!" On the dark parking lot, was Jillian's boyfriend, screaming like a mad man. He was on his knees, screaming, letting his frustrations, anger, and PAIN out. I felt bad for the guy, but I need to feel bad for myself first. I went inside my car and texted my friends that I'm going ahead of them because I don't feel good anymore.

"Hoy, Maine! Ano na? Kanina pa nila tayo hinihintay."

"Oo, eto na."

"Ano na naman yang sinusulat mo? Blog entry na naman?"

"Wala. Draft lang. Hindi ko naman ipopost."

"Asus. Sige na, bilisan mo na. Kanina pa text ng text sina Kat."

"Eto na nga."

.
.
.

"Una ka na sa loob, I'll just park the car ng maayos."

She was already making her way out the parking lot when she looked for her phone.

"Where's my phone? Ngayon ka pa nawawala. Ugh." She said as she was rummaging through her bag while getting inside the restaurant.

"Ooops! Sorry!"

"Sorry, Miss!" She looked at the guy but before she can make out his face, he was on his way to the door.

"Grabe s'ya! Nagmamadali na, para pang galit."

"Maine, dito!" She tried to look at the guy once again but he was already too far. She then went to her friends.

"Sorry, hinahanap ko pa kasi phone ko."

"Nako, Maine! Lagi na lang may nawawala sa'yo." Tell me about it. Last night I lost my boyfriend.

"Tse! Order na lang tayo."

"Grabe ka Jillian!" Maine stiffened as she heard the name mentioned from the table behind them.

"I can't believe you could do that to Alden."

"Alden." She repeated to herself.

"Ano, Maine?" Her friend asked her.

She just smiled and like always, she shrugged it off.

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As promised, eto na po ang part 2 (Maine's POV) ng First. Sorry, hanggang dito lang nakayanan ng brain cells ko. Sobrang sabaw. Haha. I still hope you liked it! 😁 Thank you for reading! 😊