Waves of illusions

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

 Matt POV

Long, crazy, tiring day, three words to sum up my day. My parents weren’t home, I hope they died in a car crash or something; honestly they scared me more than I led on but I wasn’t that pussy to cower behind them in the safety of Sophia’s family. I had to stand up for myself and try to prove them wrong. I wanted to get better for once and for all, and getting them back on track with them seemed to be the first thing on my list, since they were the ones that first landed me with this crazy mental issue. If they weren’t so harsh on me I think I wouldn’t be as broken as I am now.

The next morning was plain weird, we walked by each other at the breakfast table and they acted as if I didn’t exist, my mom shot me one murderous look and went back to her morning tea and papers as if I didn’t exist. That was better than expected. After fixing myself a bowl of cereal and finishing it, I cleaned it and put it away then grabbed my bag and left. I contemplated on whether I should say goodbye to them or not, but the decision was made for me when I heard the familiar rumble of the bus. If I missed it I would have to walk to school and that wasn’t fun, so immediately I left scared but relieved that I was actually doing ok. I chugged down the med on my way to school, if my parents saw they would’ve flipped out. Now the main thing is just to hide these pills from them. My best shot was carrying them around with me, but what if they started beating me up? It would definitely fall out or something.

School was average, the gossip still hadn’t died down but at least the crowds didn’t part when I walked past, they stared and whispered but they no longer treated me as if I was some weird god. Everybody could tell I wasn’t as high spirited as I was the first day back but nobody really commented on it and plus I was doing normal, just not as hyper.

***

It was during dinnertime when the yelling started. I knew things wouldn’t be as peaceful as they led on during the morning. The table was silent as usual, things was never really that happy and we never did talk about our day or anything. Sure there would be the occasional ‘’how was your day?’’ but that pretty much summed up the dinner conversation.

Things used to be better, when Alana was around it was still pretty depressing, but she managed to cheer everybody up, and she was just a great presence. Those hallucinations didn’t match her personality; my brain must be fucked up to think of my sister like that- controlling, annoying and loud. She was anything but those things, sure she got loud when she got drunk but it was funny loud, not the irritating loud, she never manipulated or controlled anybody and annoying wasn’t her forte either. She was the golden daughter people…hello?

‘’I see hiding those pills from you didn’t exactly work,’’ my mom began in a quiet cold tone.

I froze.

‘’you see I went down to the hospital to do a little research for myself today, and found out that things were more fucked up than I thought. That Kate woman led on some crap about thinking about your sister,’’ she continued.

My father stopped cracking open beer bottles as if his life depended on it as soon as the word sister left her mouth. He growled and glared at me.

‘’and she gave you some pills to make sure that she would never enter your mind again,’’

She was twisting everything, making me seem like the bad one, the guilty one, the one who was purposely asking for medical attention to forget my sister. I would never ever want to forget my sister, but seeing her when she really wasn’t there wasn’t exactly healthy or normal either.

‘’it’s not like that,’’ I began clearing my throat.

‘’I think it’s exactly like that,’’ she snarled. ‘’we’re all sad about Alana, but you know what? That’s selfish and cruel of you to forget about her. You dream about her sometimes? That’s fucking normal. You don’t need pills you don’t need those crap therapist, you don’t need anything, you’re just an attention whore!’’ she spoke as if she was my age. Honestly those words didn’t even exist in her time, she should leave the bad mouthing sassying to me, and she should keep her nose out of my business.