Hearts revival (a follow up from the North and South tale)

meeting John Thornton 3

I am so absorbed in the play with the children that I forget the time. Hours passed and suddenly Higgins enters the home. I am currently standing on top of a bed with a cloth wrapped around my head, you see we were at sea and the bed was our boat. Needless to say that I am a fair bit embarrassed. Higgins looks rather confused. "What is going on?" He demands to know. I jump off the bed and the children follow suit. I curtsy. "Mr Higgins, please do excuse my unseemly behaviour, the children and I were having such a good time I simply forgot my manners." Unexpectedly Higgins starts to roar with laughter. "Please do excuse my unseemly behaviour...thats rich," he laughs some more. I am greatly confused off what I have done to make him laugh so. 

But then Higgins calms down. "Why are the children here and where is Mary?" He seems concerned now. I realize that he doesn't know about the events that led to me staying with the children. Quickly I fill him in. He looks at me for a while. "You surprise me, Miss Elizabeth, I suppose I have to thank you!" I explain to him that it is me, who has to give thanks, for I had a lovely afternoon. As a matter of fact, I ask if I may return to be with the children. "Miss, I would love for you to come and be with the children but unfortunately, we can not afford to pay you a wage." Now it is nearly my turn to laugh, does he really think that I need payment. But I manage to control myself. Surely he would feel offended if I'd laughed. "Mr. Higgins, I do not require payment, I simply relish in the togetherness with the children." Again he looks at me for a while with an unreadable expression. "Then Miss you are more than welcome." I am delighted. I have just been offered a purposeful and meaningful occupation. I feel needed and wanted. I nearly hug him. 

Every day I return. I come at noon when Mary goes to work at the Mill and I look after the children. Not only do I play with them I have actually taken upon myself to teach them reading and writing. Especially the older girl, Susan who has recently turned 8. She seems to hunger for knowledge. Higgins has gifted me with clothes that help me to blend in more.

Susan should have been working at the Mill by now but as it is, there is no position free for her at the moment. I can't really comprehend how she is to do such hard work, she seems so small and child-like still. I realize tho, that this is the way of the poor, there is no such thing as a childhood full of play and merrymaking. They are called upon as soon as they are physically able. It makes me shudder merely thinking about it. My childhood had been full of riding my pony and having tea parties with my dolls and playmates in the beautiful gardens of my home, that was of cause when my parents had still been around.

At home, they are under the impression I am visiting a friend. But then again nobody really cares where I am whiling the time away. It suits me, this way I can continue my visits. 

Then one day I arrive at the Higgins home and I find Mary in bed and tears streaming down her face. Silent tears. She hadn't heard me coming but as soon as I am standing at her side she hastily wipes the tears away. "Mary," I kneel down to be on one level with her offering her one of my handkerchiefs, "what is the matter with you?" I am very concerned, Mary doesn't look well. "She is very ill Miss Elizabeth," Susan informs me. Mary starts crying again. "There, there it will be alright," I say. "No Miss if I don't come to work I will lose my job." She really looks distraught. "Surely they will not let you go, it is not your error that you have taken ill." She shakes her head sadly. "No Miss, things are hard around here, many are without a job and so the gaps are quickly filled." 

This angers me greatly but after a moment, I realize that it was once again the reality of the poor. Mary starts coughing and she doesn't stop, eventually, a  drop of blood escapes her mouth. I am shocked even though I am not hugely informed I know what this could mean. Tuberculosis? 

"Then I will go and work for you, I will hold your position. The money of cause will further go to you and your family." She manages a small laugh and stops the coughing. She looks spend.  "You are very kind Miss, but you will not be able to do my job." I'm cross with her. "I can see no reason why I should not be able to do your work? But what about the children, will they be able to stay with you, can you manage to have them around?" She still doesn't seem to believe me but nevertheless, she says, " The children are no trouble, but Miss the work is too hard." I am determined, even tho I  will greatly miss the children. 

Higgins appears, he knows of Mary's illness. "How are you now," he asks Mary concerned. "Can you work?" Mary starts crying again. "I'm so very sorry father." He hurries to her side and slowly wipes away the drop of blood that is still stuck to her chin. "Mary, please don't cry, you must not worry and rest, we will be alright!" he tries to assure her. I am imagining that he is scared, scared for her life even. Tuberculosis is not something to be taken lightly, if it is Tuberculosis and I pray it is not. 

"Mr. Higgins, I would like to offer myself to work at the Mill instead." He gives a small almost cruel chuckle. "Miss you have no idea what it is like to work at the Mill." 

"Then I shall find out," I say stomping my food on the ground. To my surprise, Higgins gets really angry with me. "Fine," he says," you may go and work at the Mill, you will find it not to be fun and games, at least not for the likes of us." With that, he leaves the house. Taken back I linger for a moment. I look at Mary unsure of what to do but she avoids my eyes. So I follow Higgins. 

At the Mill, i catch up with him. He is in conversation with a woman slighly older than me, at east i think so. It is difficult to judge. The 'poor' sometimes look older to me than they actually are. I presume this is down to their living conditions. Higgins hands me over to the woman. " This is Miss Elizabeth, she is here to fill in for Mary, can you teach her?" The woman looks at me, at first, I'm certain she is going to disagree for her expression is one of disbelief but then she nods. I get the impression that she is informed about who I am. After that, Higgins leaves. He hasn't looked at me, not once and I realize he is still angry with me. I don't understand but I have no time to think about it now. We enter the mill. Inside I am confronted with an almighty orchestra of different sounds. The air  is filled with flying bits of cotton. It is as if these particles attack  my lungs as soon as I entered. This fact makes it difficult to breathe  I try to breath shallow. Many people are working here, it fascinates me and I would have loved to have a look around but there is no time and soon we find Mary's workingplace. The woman shows me what I have to do. The sequence of what I have to do appears fairly simple but to put it into practice is indeed another matter. After a very short time, my arms are trembling, my back hurts and my hands burn, but I carry on. 

"What is she doing here," a harsh male voice interrupts my feeble attempts.  I turn around glad that I can straighten myself for a moment. I am faced with the man with the sad eyes. I'm completely taken by surprise and nearly fall into the machine. "Who are you, where is Mary?" He doesn't appear impressed. After I find back my balance, I curtsy, my eyes never leaving his. I'm practically lost in them. I can almost feel his emptiness. This seems to puzzle him for a moment. 

Irritated he dives forward, gripping one of my hands tightly, turning it around so he can see the inside. Blisters have formed on my otherwise pure soft skin. "These hands have never worked," he says thrusting my hand back, he seems angry. " I need somebody who can work." His attitude vexes me greatly: "Please Sir," I try to be polite," Mary has taken ill and to ensure her welfare I have offered to stand in for her, I will prove to you that I can work." He surveys me, with an unreadable expression. "Very well, Miss I shall give you an hour, if you do not fulfill what you have promised I will give this position to another." With that, he turns and leaves and I resume my work, determined to prove to him and to Higgins that I can do this. I desire i'll dislike him, he is unkind, uncaring, rude and I don't care if he's got sad eyes!