Hearts revival (a follow up from the North and South tale)

memory loss 16

My head hurts the most but that is not all, I can't seem to recall anything that happened. Why am I in so much pain? Frankly I can't even remember my own name or how to use this aching body of mine... my head hurts too much to think, perhaps if I could get rid of that pain I can remember things....I try to move again. Eventually, I manage to open my eyes and turn slowly towards the voices. I see two women in white.  I try to say something but again my body fails me. 

Thankfully they notice me and rush to my side. "She has finally woken, do send a messenger to Mr. Armitage, he will be more than pleased. It's been almost two months since they've brought her in." One of the women leaves. 

The other bends over me. "Miss Armitage, can you hear me." I nod ever so slightly, the movement is exhausting. I am called Armitage for a start. "How are you feeling Miss," the woman in white asks me. I can't answer her, I just look at her. Her smile seems to fade a little: " I will get the doctor." With that, she leaves and I'm alone. I try to look around me. I seem to be in a small room with a big window. Next to me is a table with various things on, including a lot of flowers. I think I'm in a hospital and the women were nurses. This is a start, I seem to remember some things. 

The doctor comes and he asks me a few questions. After a while, he announces that I'm suffering from memory loss. Hopefully, it is only temporary!  I try to sit up, this is a huge task but the nurse seems to understand and after affirming that sitting up is my wish, she props me up onto the pillows. I'm glad that when Mr. Armitage arrives, I can face him sitting up. Is this my husband I wonder am I that old already or perhaps he is my father? The doctor fills him in on my memory loss. He comes over to my side, his face looks sad and strained. "Oh Elizabeth, I thought I lost you! But you are still here...you will remember wouldn't you?" He seems unsure, then he tells me a few things about myself and about occurrences that have happened in my life, I think he is trying to help me remember but I don't. I feel really sorry for him.

A short while later another man enters my room. "Ah John so good of you to come," says Mr. Armitage who I have been informed is actually my uncle. " I came as soon as I heard," the younger man says. He hurries to my side, taking my hand, he beams at me although he also looks worried. "Elizabeth, how are you," I would like to withdraw my hand as I don't know this man and the affection he is showing scares me a bit, but he looks at me with such emotion and tenderness that I leave it be. I reckon he and myself must have been close before I forgot. 

My uncle walks up to him laying one hand on his shoulder he gently says: "John I'm sorry, Elizabeth suffers from memory loss, the cause must have been that big beam that fell on her head, we must be thankful though that she survived, I'm sure the memories will return eventually." John looks at him and then back at me in utter disbelieve. "She doesn't remember me? Elizabeth, you do remember me don't you?" He looks somehow desperate. I can feel tears running down my cheeks as I slowly shake my head. I feel so very, very sorry for him, he must have been very close to me and I can see that me not remembering him breaks his heart. I so wish I could remember.  

I am very tired now, all of this is unnerving me exceedingly. I feel awful. I close my eyes. For a moment all is quiet then I hear the man called John saying softly. "You are right Mr. Armitage, she is still alive and for that, I am more than thankful." Then he gently lays down my hand onto the covers of the bed and afterwards I can feel him lean closer. "I love you Elizabeth and I hope one day you will return to me," he whispers. I open my eyes once more and they meet his. Those eyes do stir something in me that I can not explain, mind. I smile at him weakly, he seems a fine man, I do hope I will remember him. Then he leaves.

A nurse comes in and asks Uncle to leave as well as I need rest and the information I have to process might be too much for me. she is absolutely right, I fall asleep as soon as he leaves. 

A tedious time follows a time where I slowly rediscover my bodily functions but no memory. It saddens me greatly, most of all because that man John, he often comes and each time he leaves somehow disappointed and broken. There are days where I almost wish he would not come anymore just because I can't bare the sadness in his eyes but most of the time I'm glad to see him, he is a fine man and I enjoy his company and the way he keeps coming back, despite the fact that I don't remember, impresses me. My Uncle comes to see me regular as well and a woman called Mary, she claims to be my friend and I do like her very much. These three must have really liked me a lot and they still do and for their sake and of cause for my own sake, I pray every day that I should remember. 

One day the sun was shining and I really wanted to go outside. I had asked the nurses if they could push me in that wheelchair I'm still bound to most of the time but regrettably they could not find the time. A man with longish black hair offered to push me and that day we became friends. 

James Tape is a patient himself. He is suffering from a nerve infection, the doctors reckon that it was brought on by James mindstate, he is suffering from a deeply rooted melancholy. He says he has nothing that brings him joy in love, the woman he loves has married another and he can not imagine living without her. I feel sorry for him. 

"Surely the heart can grow to love another," I suggest one day. 

"Not this heart, I will love her always," he seems adamant. For a while we are quiet. We are outside by the small lake adorning the hospital. It is a grey sort of day but still warm enough to be outside.  

"What about that man that comes to visit you nearly every day," he asks me, "I can see that he loves you, do you not love him?" 

"I don't really know," I say sadly, " I think I used to but I have simply forgotten." He nods. 

"The memory loss!" Then after a while, he adds, "I wonder if you let him close? Perhaps the contact through touch might help you remember? But then again I don't know how close you have been." I have only known James for a short time but being confined to our predicaments and sort of thrown together in our misery, we have established a friendship that cuts short formalities and improper conversation. I admire and value him for that but this time, he does have me blush, coming to think of it, it might be a good idea. 

The next time John visits me, I am nervous. After we exchanged formal greetings and have conversed for a while I turn to him and ask him. "John before my accident were we very close?" I blush terribly. He looks at me confused. "I was wondering, if a kiss might bring on certain memories .." I think my voice is bearably audible. He is practicly a stranger to me..