Hearts revival (a follow up from the North and South tale)

mother Thornton 9

Higgins falters for a moment and his eyes fill with tears when I ask him if I would be allowed to take Mary to the seaside. It is strange seeing this strong man cry and I shift uncomfortably. "Excuse me," Higgins says after a moment trying to compose himself, "I was certain I would lose this last daughter of mine as well but now you have given me hope that she might get better." I am even more uncomfortable now. He takes my hand, he looks very serious: "Miss Elizabeth I thank you from the bottom of my heart!" Thankfully the children come running in at this moment. 

I walk over to Mary's bed. She doesn't know yet. "Mary, your father and I have agreed that it might be best for you to accompany me to the seaside, the air is cleaner there and you will surely be able to recover." Mary starts to cry, "Oh Miss Elizabeth, you have no idea how much I have dreamed of going to the sea but it has always been clear to me that I would never be able to go." 

I suppose this is once again the reality of the poor. They can not travel because they could never afford it. I think of all the places I have been to, mostly in Europe but when I was a child my parents took me to some of the colonies such as India or south Africa. For a moment, I remember the smells of the spices on the Indian markets or the trumpeting of the elephants in south Africa, they had appeared rather large in those days. I am very grateful to be able to take Mary and to make this dream of hers come true. The very thought of it warms my heart so very much.

The following days, I make travel arrangements and I inform Uncle that I will be gone for some time. I also inform him that I will be taking a friend along who is not well and needs the sea air. He doesn't inquire further, he only seems to be pleased with the fact that I have a friend. That is actually very kind of him. I study his face and then I smile at him. He smiles back at me. I'm glad that he is there.

The only thing that makes me a little sad is the fact that I will miss the children and I will have to close my little 'school' for a while.
A few days before we are to leave for the sea I tell the children and they are very sad. I feel guilty but when I think of Mary and that this planned journey might be her only way to recover, I know that I have to go. The only one I still have to inform is John. I have considered not to tell him simply because I feel incapable of standing in front of him and talking to him, at least not without him initiating the conversation. BUT I know I will have to, it would be exceptionally rude not to tell him, after all, I am teaching in his Mill, using his facilities.

Slowly I make my way over to his office. My heart is pounding so loud I am certain he will hear it as soon as I enter. I knock! And wait until he calls me in. He actually looks pleased to see me, a hint of a smile plays across his lips. "Good Day Mr. Thornton," I can not bring myself to call him John, it feels too private, "I would like to inform you that I will be out of town for some time. Higgins's daughter Mary has had a relapse and I have decided to take her to the seaside in the hope that it will do her good and she might be able to recover. I will have to close the little 'school'  until my return as I know of nobody who could take my place in the meantime." I take a deep breath. I have spoken rather fast. I don't think I have ever said as much before in John's presence. 

He looks at me with an unreadable expression and then he asks me something unexpected: "The workers, why do you care so much for them?" I speak without thinking: "I have found something deeper and meaningful within myself and in my life since I've lost my way into this part of town, where I find myself surrounded by endless possibilities to gain insights and knowledge through experience and contact. These, what you call workers have been my teachers, my friends, my soul savers as strange as it might sound." Oh dear, I am certain I have lost him now, why did I have to do it again, why can I not keep quiet. But John seems to approve, he nods: "I do hope sincerely that your kindness will indeed further Miss Higgins recovery." I think I am beaming at him, I can not believe it, the man that I have come to admire so does actually approve of my complicated streams of thoughts. Shortly after I find myself outside his office. I have to lean against the wall and calm down, only then I am able to carry on.

It is Sunday afternoon. Uncle and I are sitting in the salon reading. When one of the servants enters the room. "Miss there is a Mr. and Mrs. Thornton here to see you." I am completely taken back. Mrs. Thornton but how is this possible? Hastily I get up, "How do I look?" I ask Uncle in dismay. I am not sure who I'm about to meet and I think I would like to look my very best in any case. "You look splendid dear," Uncle's voice is calm and sincere. I hope he is right. I smooth down my dress, I am glad I have chosen the new dark green velvet this morning, it does look rather fetching with my pale complexion and matches my somewhat green eyes. 

"Mr. And Mrs. Thornton," the same servant announces. Uncle gets up too now. Through the open door steps an elderly lady followed by John. I sigh in relief, of cause his mother. I actually remember her from some of the social gatherings I have been to but this must have been years ago. I can not recall having seen John before mind or have I simply not noticed him before.

Uncle steps forward. "Mrs. Thornton, Mr. Thornton how nice of you to come and visit us." He is very gentlemen like and I am proud of him. Who would have thought that one day I would deem Uncles impeccable manners something to be proud of. He does the usual sort of welcoming talk, then he calls me over. "Elizabeth come and greet our guests." I shake their hands. Mrs. Thornton looks at me rather suspiciously. "Miss Elizabeth," she says her voice cool, "how nice to make your acquaintance, I have heard a lot about you." I wonder what she has heart about me. Shaking John's hand is an entirely different experience. I think it is the first time I touch him, after the experience at the dance and it feels like I'm in heaven and I fear to pass out. I don't want to let go and strangely but perhaps imagined, his hand lingers on too. 

After we have had tea and snacks, John finally mentions the reason for their visit. "Miss Elizabeth, my mother has kindly offered to take on the teaching while you are away. If this is something you could consider that is." My eyes wander over to Mrs. Thornton, she doesn't look like a teacher at all but then our eyes meet and something in her eyes tells me that she is not what she portrays to the outside. There is definitive a weariness but also a benevolence that she seems to hide. It is this that makes me agree. Shortly after, they make to leave, just then I am unsure again. "Mrs. Thorton," I address her once more," Will you be kind with the children?" She glares at me but then her face softens. "I will try my best," she says, "Good day Miss Elizabeth, I hope we will see each other again." John looks at me once more, he is actually smiling.