Hearts revival (a follow up from the North and South tale)

the fire 15

I don't know how long we have been standing like this, I only recall the feeling of wholness, of true contentment. I am so very thankful that he opened his heart to me and I feel the urge to express this. "Thank you, John, for sharing your feelings so openly, I would have never been able to show you my true emotions! I was convinced you would not feel the same."

He cups my face in his hands smiling at me, then he says: "I knew about your feelings sweet innocent Elizabeth," I suppose he is right, I am not very good in hiding my feelings. "Then why did you worry about me and George?" I ask him. He seems embarrassed: "It was indeed foolish of me, I suppose my heart grew unsure." 

"John, I have never felt this way before and I shall never love another," I whispered the part about loving him. saying it makes it so much more real. I do love him, I love the way he cares for the people that work for him, I love how he meticulously makes sure the mill runs well, I love the way he moves, the way he talks, I love simply everything about him. He is the finest man I've ever met. He lifts my head and kisses me. A long kiss, a kiss that sends a surge of fire through my entire body, mind, and soul. A kiss that promises adventures that are so wild that I can not imagine them.

"Elizabeth," Higgins's voice echoes through the building. As if awakening from a dream our lips part. Higgins comes around the corner, on seeing us he draws back: "I'm so sorry," he says genuinely. Slightly embarrassed and more than unwilling I leave John's arms. "Nicholas are you alright?" He has never before come to fetch me even when I have been late and it worries me but he doesn't look troubled he actually looks rather exited.

"I'm sorry Miss Elizabeth, I've received good news from Mary and I could not wait to share them with you. If I'd known..." he doesn't finish the sentence. I think he is still surprised about seeing John and myself so familiar. 

Higgins lifts his hat: "Mr. Thornton," his face is now displaying almost a grin. "Mr. Higgins," John doesn't seem to mind. I know he and Higgins get on well.

Later I am at Higgins house for supper as usual. He informs me that the doctors have now confirmed that Mary is completely healed and that she could come home. I think Higgins missed her greatly and he can't wait to have her back. I too wouldn't mind having her around again. Then he asks me about John and I can see that he is really excited about the fact that there seems to be a romantic connection between John and myself.

The following day I have to accompany Uncle to an important meeting. I really don't want to go for I can simply not wait to see John again, just thinking about him makes me all giddy. Mrs. Thornton has agreed to teach until I'll return. Thankfully the meeting finishes around the lunch hours and I make my way towards the mill. 

I'm still a far way of when I realize something is not right. There is a huge dark cloud hanging over the area where the mill stands and soon after a smell reaches my nose that confirms my fears. There's got to be a fire at the mill! I know that the cotton is extremely flammable and the thread of a fire is at all times present. People are rushing towards the mill and I hear people shouting: "Fire, the mill is on fire..." I start running. My heart frozen, all I can think about is John! I hope he is safe, please dear God, please let him be safe!

A huge crowd has gathered around the mill, there is smoke everywhere. The fire is spreading fast. I try to make my way to the front. Here I find Mrs. Thornton with the children. Thank Goodness they have managed to escape. I can see some of the workers. "Where is John?" I ask Mrs. Thornton, I can not seem to find him anywhere. She seems equally unsettled. 

"He and a few other men have gone back inside to rescue as many people as possible. There are still dozens of people trapped inside unconscious by the smoke." She is distressed, literally in a panic.         "I lost my husband in a fire such as this one I can not lose my son!" She is as white as the purest cotton, I realize how much she loves John. I too love John and I am petrified. Where is he? 

There, a few men appear carrying others, Higgins is amongst them. They lay down those they've rescued and some enter yet again the mill. "No, Nicholas," I scream, he must be mad, the fire has taken over most of the building now and Higgins went back in! AND John has not come out yet! I can not bear it and before anybody can stop me, I run towards the building. The heat increases the closer I get but I am no longer feeling the heat, neither do I hear the shouting of the people trying to stop me, I have but one thought, I need to find my loved ones! 

I enter the building and I'm faced with a furnace, there are flames everywhere, I stop, shocked but only for a fleeting moment. "JOHN, JOHN," I scream. I can not lose him! "JOHN!" I shout once again as I run into the flames...

and then something inside me bursts open and I'm back on the ship. There are flames everywhere. I need to get to mom. I can see her, she is just beyond that wall of fire. She is trying to pull that huge beam of my father, the one that fell on top of him just now. I am scared, so very scared. "Mom," I shout trying to find a gap in the flames. "Mom, Dad." In my mind, I see that huge beam fall down over and over burying my beloved father. "Mom," I cry, "mom, is father alright!" I somehow know he is not alright. I try to walk through the flames but my dress catches fire and pain shoots up my leg. Suddenly there is a man by my side, he extinguishes the flames with his jacket. Then he lifts me up.  I remember, he is going to carry me away from my mom and my dad, I know that his arms are too strong for me to escape and I know that despite my efforts to get away he is going to throw me over the side of the ship and the cool of the water is going to engulf me. 

Not this time! This time, I will find a way to escape his arms and I will be able to get to mom and help her get that beam of father and we will all be able to jump off the ships railing into the saving water! I struggle, the man is strong but this time, I'm stronger than the last time, I manage to get away and I run towards the flames turning around in triumph. The man's face is Johns face, John! I am not on the ship?!...and then I remember all...relieved I turn around once again to run back towards John. He is safe, he is alive! 

I don't see the beam falling but I see John running towards me, he is shouting something, his face full of panic, then everything turns black. 

I can hear voices, where am I? Why can't I move?