Why Here?

Chapter 15

It felt like I had only been a sleep for minutes when I was awoken by the stream if sunlight peaking through my curtains. I sat up slowly rubbing the night before out of my eyes. I looked down at the floor and my heart dropped. Nialls journal was lying on my floor by my door. I just stare for minutes wondering if he had it last night. I didnt see him with it. How'd it get here? Why was it here? I got up off my bed and picked it up. It had a note attached 'please read.. I'm sorry..' I grabbed the note and crumbled it up tightly in my hand. I opened my door and marched to his door. I knocked hard. He opened the door and stood in front of me shirtless, with hung low sweatpants. My eyes wondered all over his body. 'No! No! Remember why you're there!' I thought to myself. I snapped out if it quickly. "Here!" I demanded him taking the journal. "Did you re-" I interrupted him "no and I don't care! Keep your journal. And stay away from me." I turned and walked back to my room. "What did I do?" She said from across the hall. "Just go back to your life." I closed my door and laid on my bed. Sitting in silence for hours till the nurse came by for dinner. I went down to the cafeteria, grabbed my tray and sat at the table in the back by the window. I pushed around the gray meat pretending to eat. From the corner of my eye I saw someone walk over and sit down. I looked up and obviously he was sitting across from me. "Oh my god. Do you not know what leave me alone means?" I muttered. "I said I'm sorry what more do you want?" He plead. "You wanna know what I want?" I looked him in the eyes. He nodded slowly almost unsure if he made the right choice. "I want for me to be able to look at myself in the mirror and actually like what I see. I want to be able to meet a guy and him not care about the scars, but my heart. I want to have a normal life and not be here in the hell hole. I want to be normal damnit! " I slammed my fork down and pushed the tray away. "Lennox you are beautiful, I don't care about your scars, and you are normal." He said things he obviously knew I wanted to hear. "Just shut up Niall. You worked your rock star magic on me and I fell for it but I snapped out of it. Im not stupid. You're just a guy looking for some ass." I stood up "just leave me alone!" I walked away quickly to my room hoping to get there before tears poured down. I sat on the floor leaning against the bed. I really hope I made the right choice.