Why Here?

Chapter 37

"I don't think you know how much I missed this..." He whispered locking his grip around me.

"Niall please stop.. Just relax. You need to be calm."

"But I am calm Lennox. Look at me. I am." He pleaded

"I already told you what I think about us. It's not a good idea. Jon thinks the same."

"Honestly Lennie I don't care what this Jon has to say. He's not you or me."

"Don't get angry. He's a nice guy. He helped me this week. A lot."

"Lennox. Stop talking about him. Seriously." He sighed.

I moved away from his grip slowly.

"Lennie I didn't mean to make you mad. Come back please."

"Niall you should go lay down in your room. We can talk later." I stood up grabbing the pillows he threw onto the floor.

"No. I won't go until you tell me why it's so hard for you to forgive me. You keep ignoring me. Just talk to me Lennie. Please." Each time he said my name my heart broke a little more.

"This isn't the time or place. You just broke up with Amy."

"Then when is the time?! Whenever I try to talk to you, you always leave early or cut me off. I never get to explain to you. I bet you haven't even read what I wrote!" His voice made my body tremble.

"I d-"

"No this time you're going to listen to me!" He stood up from the bed blocking the door. "I really did think me and Amy were over, when she showed up here I was in complete shock just like you. I didn't even know what to say. When she kissed me I have to admit it felt normal that's why I didn't stop her." My eyes dropped knowing he liked it hurt worse. "I'm not done Lennie. Don't quit on me now. Her kiss is nothing compared to yours. Lennox when me and you kiss it's nothing short of magic. You just don't realize how amazing you actually are." I looked away from him trying to hold back my tears. I promised myself I wouldn't cry over him or my mom again.

"Niall please stop doing this." I whispered.

"Why can't you see I'm telling the truth?! What do I have to do Lennox?! What?!" His voice pounding in my ears.

"Stop screaming at me! Please."

"Just talk to me Lennox. Just tell me why you really don't want us together. Is it because of this Jon guy?" His face becoming serious rather than angry.

"No! Of course not."

"Then tell me!"

"It's because I'm scared! Okay! I'm scared!" I threw the pillow across the room. His eyes widened at my outburst.

"What are you scared of?" He mumbled moving closer to me.

"Getting hurt. I can't handle anymore betrayals. I'm just tired of always having to be an adult and dealing with mistakes. For once I would just like for my life to be normal."

"You can have that with me."

"You are nothing near normal Niall. But that's what's great about you. You have a personality everyone loves. That's why you need to focus on treatment and get better so you can be around your friends and family. You don't need me." I sat on the edge of the bed my arms crossed over my chest.

"Lennie. You're not exactly normal either but that's what made me like you. Kept me coming back after you told me to leave you alone. I couldn't stop." He leaned down in front of me his hand on my knee. I looked down at his face now close to mine. His eyes searched my face before he leaned in slowly almost touching my lips. My heart told me to let him kiss me, I knew how badly I missed it but my brain made me quickly move away.