Why Here?

Chapter 20

Lennox's POV

My eyes flutter open to the sound of his heartbeat. I couldn't stop the smile spreading on my face. I look up at the man holding me in his arms. Everything about him was cute. The way his mouth moved in his sleep, the way his eyes flutter when he's dreaming. I remember throughout the night his grip tightening around me. Not once did I mind.

I laid my head back down. My mind kept replaying what happened last night. I still couldn't believe I did that. This is the craziest thing I've done since that day.... I was brought here.

The thoughts enter that we are in a rehabilitation center. We both of serious problems. How could we handle this, us, whatever we are. We're not strong enough.

I move out of his arms slowly, wrapping the blanket around my body. I moved away from him as far as I could on full sized bed. I brought my knees to my chest griping them tightly. I stared at the boy still asleep on my bed. How could I have done something so irresponsible? Letting him get to me like he did. God I gave myself to him. I wiped the small tear streaming down my face.

He was laying on the edge my bed and I knew if I got up id wake him but I had to try.

I moved the sheet back over his amazing body. I bite my lip, I know I want him but it's just not right. I reach over him to balance myself. I throw my leg over to hold my position. I took a little longer than I should've just looking at him and remembering his face last night. A small smirked moved across my lips. I started to move off of him but before I could his hands reached up and grabbed my waist pulling me down on top of him.

"Mmmm good morning to you too." His morning voice is raspy and deep. God I swear it was the sexiest thing he's done. "Morning." I mumble.

"Sleep good?" He still didn't open his eyes. "Fine." I state blankly

I guess my tone gave me away because his eyes opened quickly. "Is everything okay?" He still didn't let me go. "I think you should go.." I say not looking in his eyes.

"Why? Did I do something?" I could hear the hurt in his voice.

"No... But what we did last night was reckless and irresponsible. We acted out of heat and didn't think of the consequences to come." His body motionless. "Niall?" I poke trying to get a response.

"Im not going anywhere." He says bluntly.

"Niall don't pout.."

"I'm not. I think it's wrong. You know enjoyed it last night. You know did. You know that you didn't regret it last night. But now you're over analyzing it. Like you do everything. Can't you just have something random happen in your life? Can't I be that something?"

His words hit me like a bus. He was right I do over analyze everything, but only because I have to. "If I don't my life could become chaotic. You know about that.." I didn't want to say it but it was true.

"True. My life's a mess but I'm trying to fix it. Maybe that's why we work so well. We balance out. God can't you just try? Why can't we just try? I like this. And.." He stops in his tracks.

I blink rapidly trying to keep my tears back. "What?" I ask softly

"Nothing."

"Niall tell me please?"

"Why should I? You don't want me here anyway." He mumbled

"Just say it."

"When I'm near you every thought of drinking or doing anything else just disappears. When you leave my room or I leave yours the thoughts come back but even if I'm in the same room as you they're gone." He say looking at the wall.

My heart beats faster thinking of how hard it must've been to admit that. A smile creeps it's way to my lips.

"Niall." I whisper. He turns his head to look at me. "You're the only person I've actually let be with me like that. Most people just let themselves. I'm just scared.. Okay. It's scary to me. Especially knowing your past." I whisper "but I can try to look past it." A big smile is plastered on his face. "Only" I start

"Only what???" He says in a sigh.

"Only if you can promise me you won't make me regret it." I smile

"I promise! I promise! I promise!!" His face lit up.

I smiled big loving his reaction. I moved back under the blanket and entwined our legs. I laid my head my back onto his chest.

"Niall?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you sometimes wish you didn't make it big? Like that you were still normal?" His heartbeat raced at my question.

"Sometimes. I've always wanted to do something with music. I love performing and having fun with the mates but I hate that I have no privacy. I've actually liked being here and not seeing one paparazzi. But that won't last long. The worst part is that no one seems to understand. They always assume I'm being stubborn." He sighs

"I understand." I whisper. His eyes look into mine.

"See you're amazing." He lifts my chin to look at him and kisses me softly.

I run my hand up and down his chest. "Just tell me one thing."

"What?" He asks.

"Tell me that you don't need those things. If I'm going to be yours and you mine." He doesn't even stop to think before blurting out his answer "of course! Obviously!" He hugs me tightly.

I look up at him as he lays his back looking at the ceiling with a smile on his face. I know we're moving fast but when feelings become this string it's hard not to.

My fingertips trace circles on his chest and stomach. I watch his chest move up and down with each breath. I could see the pleasure in his face when my hand moved lower. I slowly slide my hand down to his length running my fingers over it. His breathing becoming heavy. I loved watching his reaction.

"Want me to?" I ask softly but was answered with a rapid nod from him.

I take his shaft into my hand moving up and down slowly feeling him tighten.

I move my hand faster listening to him moan. I bite down on my lip listening to him made me wet with out even being touched. I went to duck my head under the blanket when I heard a knock on my door. I jumped high.

"Uhm who is it?" I ask softly. I could tell Niall was anxious.

"It's me honey." My mothers voice rings in my ear.

"Oh my god." I whispered

"What?" He asks

"It's my mother."

"Lennox? Are you gonna let me in?"

"Uhm could you wait in the caf? I'll be right out."

"Okay. Hurry please got something for you." I hear her flip flops smack the floor.

"Okay you have to go." I say to Niall as I jump up and get dressed.

"But why???" He pouts.

"Niall later okay. I promise." I peck him and finish getting dressed. I head to my door "wait." He calls out.

"What?" I move to him. He grabs my neck and pulls me to him and kisses me. "That's a goodbye." He smiles. I giggle and run out to my mom.