Why Here?

Chapter 43

"Lennie?" Niall's voice echoed in my ears "Lennie wake up baby." he whispered softly pushing the loose strands of hair behind my ear.

"Why?" I mumbled.

"The cop is here to ask you some questions."

"No please don't make me." I began to cry again realizing the nightmare I stashed away was actually a reality.

"It's okay baby. I'll be right there with you."

"Don't leave me. Please." I sniffled.

"I wont." he assured me as he opened the door leading me out of the car and onto the ugly grey concrete stained in old gum and other mysterious spots.

"Miss Traci?" a deep voice startled me making me shake.

"Mhm?" I avoided any eye contact possible.

"I'm just going to ask a few questions about your mom and things like that." I nodded gripping Niall's hand tighter.

"Just tell me when was the last time you talked to your mom. Did she seem stressed, anxious, nervous? Anything you think might be helpful."

"I saw her about a month ago at the facility."

"This is the same facility as Mr. Horan attends?"

"Yes sir."

"Okay continue."

"She was originally there to talk to me because we had gotten into a fight. She had been with a guy that I'm positive did this to her! She was trying to apologize to me because I was such an ass to her! He did this to her! He's the one that wouldn't let her see me! He's the reason my mother is gone!" I turned into Niall's embrace letting his hold tighten. My weeps becoming louder with each passing second.

"I'm sorry for your loss, we'll find whoever did this." His heavy hand patted my shoulder trying to make me feel better. I didn't answer or acknowledge his gesture the pain just overwhelming.

"Niall I want to go home." I muttered in his chest.

"I know, lets go." he let me slide in the back first following in after me. Jackie climbed in the front turning the AC up. She started the car and made our way back to Elk Grove. I caught her staring at me with those doe eyes in her rearview mirror on multiple occasions. Not only was I now on my own but the pity party I was receiving and going to receive was just the icing on the cake. Each time I thought of what happened the rush of emotion just flooded my veins. The feeling of exhaustion took over me, I could barely keep my eyes open during the drive as we passed all the trees that now looked dark and scary. I leaned on Niall's broad shoulders while his fingers made shapes on my knee. I liked that he didn't tell me she's in a better place or that in time things will get better he just let me cry and told me he loved me. It felt like I had just fallen asleep when I'm woken up by Niall's body colliding with mine as he lifted me into his arms.

"Are we home?"

"We are baby." I continued to feel drowsy, he laid me on my bed and helped me change into sweats and one of his shirts. I could tell he was just trying to make me as comfortable as possible. I watched him slowly pull off his shirt and take the spot next to me. I curled up into a ball moving so close to him no air could travel between us. The instant I found my comfort zone I zonked out.

_______

Niall's heavy breathing woke me from my slumber. When ever he laid flat on his back he tended to snore, I gently pushed his body to lay on his side and he was instantly silenced. The intense feeling of dread gleamed over me as I pondered the days events. Why was everything crashing around me? The only thing I had with me was Niall, he's been here with me. I finally understood how he felt when he lost his dad. Not being able to tell him how he felt or what he was going through, no wonder he took those pills, they made him numb to the pain helping him forget all the shit he was going through. I wanted to feel that way, I wanted forget the fucked up mess that had become my life. I rummaged around the room looking for anything to cover my chilled feet. I found a pair of Niall's socks sitting in one of his shoes. Slipping them on I quietly make my way out of the room down the dark hallway to the nurses station at the end of the walk way. It was passed lights out so everyone had gone home. The smell of the disinfectant filled my nostrils as I found myself in the middle of the room. Surrounded by medicine and needles was a bit overwhelming. I was always so nervous coming in here, worried about what might happen. I looked around the room finding the cabinet where the nurse kept everything she confiscated and what she gave patients with illnesses. my hands shook as I found the bags full of multicolored tablets. Reds, greens, blues, and yellows all with a different reaction I presumed. I grabbed a one from each bag, four bright colors laid in my palm and I pondered for a few seconds what might happen. I didn't care at this point, I just wanted all the pain I was feeling to go away!