Why Here?

Chapter 50

Everything around me didn't matter at this point. I was finally entangled in Niall's arms again. Just being away for a week was torture for the both of us. I could see it in his eyes, the second he saw me, it was like seeing the sun for the first time. The pain was clear in his face, I hated seeing him like this, it was worse then seeing him high. The bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, the way his body was always tense, it was like the life had been drained from his body. I kissed the top of his neck just underneath his earlobe, I watched a small grin spread across his face. "I love you so much." my hand rested softly on his cheek, "This will all be over soon. I promise."

"I don't want you to leave." he mumbled half asleep.

"You know I don't either but I have to."

"No you don't. You can just stay here with me." He opened his eyes and I could see how red and tired they were. "I couldn't even sleep because I was afraid if I woke up you'd be gone again."

I could see how much pain he was in, it wasn't like before when all his anger would build up inside him, this was different, he was actually hurting from being alone. "Niall you have to be strong for me please. I literally have no one but you in my life. I need you to be able to make me smile like you did last night." I took my bottom lip between my teeth to try and stifle my approaching cries.

"I'm sorry, I'm making this all about me when you deserve to do that."

"Hey listen to me, I'm going to go back today and I'll talk to J.T. he can help me find a lawyer and I can try to get out . Okay?"

"Why do you have to have him help you?" he sighed grabbing my hands in his.

"Because, I know he'll help me. Jackie will just tell me I need to stay away from you."

"I don't like him Lennie. He's really touchy and you're around him to much."

"But he's someone I can talk to about missing you. That's what I need."

"You have me for that." he sighed.

"Not really, you're here."

His eyes shut once again "Niall I want you to sleep. I want you to stay calm and not worry about me. I'm going to be okay." I started to get up off the bed but his hands held on to my elbows "Niall.. please don't make this harder for me." he didn't say a word, instead his eyes opened slowly to reveal the tears building up.

"Lennox, do you remember how crazy and upset I would get when you were gone for maybe five minutes?"

"Yeah?"

"Being this far and long away from you doesn't even make me angry anymore. I just don't have the energy. You were the reason I got out of bed, you were the reason I wanted to eat and breathe. You're not here, I don't want t get up, I don't want to eat, sometimes I don't want breathe. I need you with me Lennie." His words staggered with him pushing away the tears.

I quickly pressed my lips to his hoping in some way it would make him feel better. His lips felt almost lifeless. "Baby please kiss me." I pleaded. His arms moved around my back pulling me in closer to his chest and ever so gently placed his lips on mine.

"I want to make our last kiss last." he whispered before pulling me into such a deep kiss my eyes couldn't stay open. The intensity of his tongue brushing across my lips, the way his fingers indented into my back was a sensation I've never felt before. Once he pulled away, it was like he took all the air from my lungs.

"Baby.. that will never be our last kiss." I whispered "I want you. Forever."

"I want you. Always." he smiled softly.