(Old/Cancelled) Oneshots!

Are You Baka?

(I'm proud of this. Be proud of it too. Let's all be proud about this!)

There was once an idiot, he's idiocy defies reality and fiction. He looks as if his power is as weak as a Magikarp's, but nothing has yet rivalled his power. He's idiocy is so extreme, that even this plot is a work of an idiot. This idiot's origins and nature are incomprehensible to the sane, to the logical, and to the normal.

One day, while aimlessly strolling through the woods...

"Hmm... this rock is too dead." Poop said, subconsciously disintegrating the huge boulder.

"Ah, then it's gone. I swear, this world's-"

Out of nowhere, a monster's laughter can be heard. "KE--KE-KE-KE-KE-KE! MA--KA-KA-KA-BA-GA!!!"

Poop arrived at the scene, "Oh hey, it's Majin Buu." Seeing that the huge monster had its eyes on a little boy, he readied his heroic fists.

The monster was very white and bony, but the hardness of its bones and claws can be felt even when one's eyes are closed. The only thing that has a color on it is the dirt coating its skin and its crimson-blood eyes that reflects intimidation.

"More like, Kid Buu." Said a highly-detailed young boy with white hair, white clothes, and white shoes. And white eyes.

And white teeth.

"You sure know your stuff. You lost, kid? You look like you love white." Poop plainly said, not knowing the danger that might end a life.

"I'm not a kid! This is my white monster, and you're his prey. Drop dead." When the boy said the last two words, he pointed at Poop, which made the bony monster suddenly become very aggressive, charging Poop with all of its might.

"Tsk, one punch might not be enough." Poop cancelled his first attack and settled for a more powerful one.

"Hah, you're going to die and you've still got some guts in you to bluff? Stupid!" The little boy laughed until..

"Raiton Kirin!" A big-ass thunder merged with the ground, expanding, then exploding afterwards, burning all of the grass and trees around the monster.

"W-what the." The white boy saw his monster; paralyzed.

"But his bones are made from first-grade metals! He should've been a great conductor! Even all of his insides are made from metal! Even his blood! But where did that huge lightning came from?! Was that lighting really that compact and extreme to the point of paralyzing him, a living conductor? That's impossible!" The little boy thought.

"Then, a punch!" He punched the monster with his left fist straight to its right hip, breaking all of its metallic bones and the left side of its body. The monster was unable to make a noise, for its throat is now jammed with the metallic blood that it's now spitting.

"And-- another one!!" He punched the monster using his right fist on the monster's already broken chest, destroying everything to pieces like a very fragile glass slapped by a wrecking ball. The impact cleared the dust, revealing white leather and weakened metal scraps.

"M-monster..! That dude's the real monster!" White fell back to his buttocks, unable to fathom the events that just took place.

"Are you okay now, kid? Tell me where your village is, so I can take you back and get a reward." Poop grinned, his eyes lit on fire when he said "reward".

"He- he just killed my monster!! Years of research and all it took was some... how the hell was he even able to manipulate electricity?? There wasn't even a single cloud in the vicinity!.."

"Ey, are you A-Okay?" Poop asked while looking up, trying to extinguish the spontaneous combustion from his eyes using the tears that were made from the pain.

"W-what? No, idiot! I'm the Genius White Prince! I am White... I am... White *sniff*." He held his tears, being unable to fathom this loss, all he wanted at this moment is not to be looked down upon as a harmless little child all over again.

"I'm Poop, and you're the idiot, I wasn't asking for your name. C'mon kid, let's go to your village."

"I'm not... I'm not a kid, damnit!" He fell down and punched the ground.

"Hey, swearing is not for kids." Poop scolded the kid kneeling in front of him.

"I thought I was ready for the outside world, that I didn't needed help. But all they saw was a kid wearing white elegant clothes... why does the world have to judge the book by its cover??" White cried and cried, for that's the only thing he can do. Without any connections, no home to go back to, no stuff, all he had was his monster, and now, it's gone. All because of the idiot he's kneeling towards... or is it?

"What the hell is this boy yapping about? A book?" Poop thought. "Think of something, people might think that I'm going to kidnap this kid. Wait- are there even people in the forest? Hmm...."

Poop was puzzled. What would he do to calm a child that thinks that he's not a child, he thought.

"C'mon kid- err- White, recommend me the book, I'll surely read it. It can't be that bad, right?" Poop held out his hand and a smile that felt different from everyone else's smile.

It's the smile of an honest idiot.

"Idiot.." He sniffed, holding back his tears. "..that was a figure of speech... Poop, huh? You look like someone I can use." He got up with Poop's support. "I really don't have anywhere to go back to. What do you want exactly? I want to know."

"Uh, well.. I guess, to survive? Oh, and to know what I am and where I came from! Yes." Poop walked onwards aimlessly again.

" 'What I am and where I came from'? I guess we're both a lost cause, huh. I'll trust this dude for now." White felt relatable to Poop's suffering.

"I-is that it? That's stupid." White said, following him while also keeping the distance between them at arm's range.

"Well, aren't you a white-loving genius? And you speak like you're some kind of runaway prince. What's your dream?" Poop asked laughing a little.

"He just described all of me! Is this guy for real? Is he just really dense or is he a spy??... My dream..?"

"My dream... my dream is to find a home. Not the ones that you could just build or buy. A home where there are people who think about you. Real friends, a family." White looked down while saying all of that. Watching his footsteps, thinking about the recent turn of events.

"Seems like your alone, eh? I'm alone too. We're both alone. Now that you think about it, everyone is alone. Why don't we be lonely together?"

"This idiot.." White thought. "..makes sense." White made a troubled face "If this idiot understands me, does that mean... I'm an idiot too?" White smiled a little, but big enough to make him think that it was the biggest smile he has ever made that wasn't forced.

"Well, I'm sorry for destroying your monster and all that, but what were you doing in here in the first place?" Poop asked, still facing onwards.

The sun is setting.

"Well, I ran away-" just before White could say anything else, a monster suddenly appeared in front of them from the sky.

*Bam!*

*GGGRRAAAAAA!!!!* it growled.

"Is this one of yours, White?" Poop pointed casually, looking at White, who was behind him looking surprised.

"Idiot, if I had that kind of monster, I wouldn't be revealing my past and crying about the other one that you destroyed!"

"I'll take it as a "no" then." Poop readied his fist again...

TO BE CONTINUED

OR NOT.

Sorry if you felt that that was a cliffhanger. But, I'll make it into a book, eventually, if that makes you comfortable.