Signed Ezra

Chapter 8, Everything I Didn't Say

"I wish I could've made you stay
And I'm the only one to blame
I know that it's a little too late
This is everything I didn't say"
-Everything I Didn't Say by 5 Seconds of Summer

I guess I'm just starting to realize how good are relationship was. How it was like heaven compared to now. I wish I had known sooner.

If only I could turn back time and tell you how I really felt, tell you how much I loved you and how amazing you were. Go back to show you what you were really worth.

I didn't even know. I guess what they say is true, love is blinding. I was blinded and I didn't even realize what was happening. I didn't even know you were ready to leave.

I've heard so many people gasp when they hear some of the things I did. I'm taking everyone's breath away with the stupid things I've done. All of the times I didn't apologize after an argument that was entirely my fault. The times I drove you insane. The ways I was just a simple jerk to everyone. I take people breath away with how much of a jerk I was.

All of the letters I've written, all the ones I'm writing, they're all telling you the same thing. Everything I didn't say.

I'm sorry. I love you. I miss you. Thank you. Everything I forgot to tell you or didn't say enough.

I can rewrite those words millions of times and I know they still won't mean anything to you. I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry I made you lose all hope in me. I'm sorry I didn't show you I actually love you. I'm sorry.

I wish you forgot the bad things I did. All the wrongs, I hoped and prayed they would leave your memory.

I wish for a lot of things actually. I wish I brought you flowers, and took you out on dates. I wish I was a better boyfriend, I wish I could just go back to the start.

I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish.

I'm just, sorry. I really am. You know I'd sacrifice anything to fix all of this. I told you before, I would give up all of this, the band, the fame, the fortune, all of it. For you.

Some day I'm sure will see each other and we'll both be happy, we'll both be with someone else loving life and glad things didn't work out with each other,but until then I want you to know I regret the things I did. I hate that I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry.

-Signed Ezra