Signed Ezra

Chapter 8, Breakeven

"What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you? And what am I supposed to say when I'm all chocked up and your okay?"
-Breakeven by The Script

I can't stop going over it in my head, how can you be okay when I'm dying. Literally I'm alive, but I'm only barely breathing.

Yet, your fine. Nothing seems to bother you. Life is just splendid for you.

I've been hoping a praying that I would be okay, that something will change, that I can get over you. It's not working however. Nothing is, other than my friend called alcohol, and lots of it.

It feels like prison to be honest, I'm in the stoney lonesome, all by myself with time on my hands while your sitting behind the glass with freedom calling your name.

I guess what they say is true, whenever a heart breaks, the pieces definitely aren't even.

I know it sounds pathetic, but honestly the best side of me was always you. I get that weird chocked up feeling in the back of my throat that when I think of you. Do you know how hard it us for me to sing when all I feel is my that closing in of my throat because I'm chocking on my own sadness.

It sucks it really does to sit here and say a women brought out the best part of me, and trust me I'm not saying that as a sexist comment. I'm just saying it's sad I have to rely on another life form to make me happy.

I'm falling apart.

I mean they always said bad things happen for a reason. I always believed anyone that said that because I believed in coincidences. I always thought that things happened just because that's what was supposed to happen.

But that philosophy won't get you back. It won't stop the heartache.

I mean it probably will for you, you moved on while I'm sitting here on the floor in my hotel room with the door locked so no one can see me in this state of falling apart. It's pitiful I know, however it is true.

They say that it takes twice the amount of time you loved someone to get over that person. Yet, you got over me so freaking fast.

When a heart breaks it definitely isn't a fair break.

Think about it, you got his love and you still have mine, but you have no guilt. You didn't take any of the heartache.

I took my blame and guilt along with my suitcase while you didn't take anything, you got the house. No guilt, no heartbreak, no pain, no nothing. Its not fair.

I'm still alive, but only barely.

I guess life just isn't fair though.

-Signed Ezra