The Malay Princess

The Grass in the Field

I like school. I mean, I like studying; I'm not particularly fond of school actually. I go to an international school in Damansara, where the rich kids are. After my SPMs, my dad thought it would have been better for me to get my A-levels, then head somewhere like the States or the Britain. I started a year later than everybody else since there were a lot of things going on during the year after my SPMs. Even so I was eager to study. If I'm not drunk or high, studying is probably what I am going to do if you ever saw me. 'Engku!' I could hear a guy in my class calling for me. It is probably Isa. 

'Apa you nak dari I, Isa?' I said, in a monotone - not even raising my head to look at him. I could probably excel on my A-levels for a year, but it seems like my dad wouldn't allow it. That's why I'm still here, in school, with this ugly ass baju kurung as uniform. 

'You look nice today, Engku.' He says, taking a seat next to me without being invited. Isa, well, he's the closest thing for a friend in my school. Zarith is taking his undergraduate's degree in Universiti Malaya, the first school in Malaysia. What the fuck am I doing here?

'What did I tell you about calling me Engku? Panggil I Zara sudah la.' I said, twirling my pen, reading the thick textbook. Chemistry - I like it, I really do; but it got harder once I went into A-levels. What we had in our SPMs, that was basically child's play. Well this would be child's play too though once I get into getting my degrees. 

'I saw you on TV though, haritu. You looked nice. Kids like you.' He compliments, taking out his books and opening it up, unfortunately, with no studying involved. 

'I think the TV let you see what it wants you to see, Isa. Kids don't like me.' 

'I call bullshit. You're a real life princess, of course children would like you. Every girl wants to be one.' He says. 

'Not me. Since I am one.' I said. I closed my book, and looked at him. 'Wanna get high?' I asked.

'Don't I always, hun?' 

The large field would be our hot spot when it came to weed. It was a large field and we picked the furthest tree. I have never been caught and I don't need to be. I get the best results in the whole entire state of Kuala Lumpur, even if they did catch me, it's not like they can do shit about it. I rolled one with my thin fingers, Isa just looks at me as I did it. Keeping it sealed tightly, I lit it up with a Bic lighter. After one huff, I handed it to him. 

'Why don't you like being a princess so much?' He asked me. 'You live in a god damn palace, you have maids, you ada kereta; you don't even need to do anything but just bask in the wealth.' He says, I laughed hysterically. 

'Let me ask you this, Isa, how many languages can you speak?' I asked.

'I don't know, two, three - three is even vague.' He answers. 

'Since the age of six, I studied eight major languages in the world - fluent in all of them. I never had any friends since I was home-schooled until I was sixteen; then I went into high school because of the SPMs and my parents insisted that I did. I go around with security details, I am forced to take lessons for Judo and you know what I hate the most?' I asked him. 

'What is it?' 

'Studying Malay literature everyday until I was eighteen.' I said. 'Lessons, lessons. I am bored of it. I liked studying more than going to lessons. I'd rather be in this crappy school than face my mother everyday. Always with someone watching me, I can't even go and watch a movie with friends. 

'But you go to clubs and bars and stuff? Don't you get caught by the press or the media?' 

'I was. Almost. But they wouldn't ever guess it was me. Nobody knows the real me. Nobody needs to know though. What they need to know is that I am the real life princess. What they know about me is what I post on Insta or whatever I tweet on Twitter. And that is enough for them to know. That's enough for them to know about the princess they adore and love.' I said, I think the high is finally getting to me; I feel hungrier all of the sudden. 

'You tak pernah beritahu I these things.' He utters slowly. 

'You never asked.' I said. 'Everybody expected it to be like the Princess Diaries bullshit - but most of the time, it is not the case.'

'I heard about what happened though, the accident.' Isa says, I leaned back on to the tree. 

'That's old news, Isa.' 

'I've heard all about it in the past, but never got to talk to you about it.' He says, I hated the sound of his voice when he said that. Pity. The princess doesn't need pity. 

'Well we're not exactly close, you know, Isa.' I stood. 'You're sorry and you pity me. I get it, everybody pities me. But who the fuck cares, it happened.' I said, somberly.

'I'm not pitying you, Zara.' 

'Now it's Zara; every other day it was Engku.' I said, somehow sarcastically. 'If you pity me, buy me something to eat. I'm hungry as fuck.' He rises from the bed of grass. 

'Anything for you, princess.'