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"In this I believe, that when I close my eyes every night
without you by my side,
an alternate version of me, of us, exists
in an alternate universe
so similar and parallel to how we live,
yet so vastly different with what we have.
In this alternate life,
I won't be writing poems about you.
In this alternate life,
you won't be making yourself sad
thinking about me.
Because,
in this alternate life,
we have each other.
In this alternate life
you are happy,
and I am happy,
and we are both happy together.
In this alternate life
I won't be wishing for your happiness,
because I am a witness
of your happiness
and I can see your happiness
clearly reflected in your eyes
each time we say our goodnights,
and sweet dreams,
and each time we kiss our way to sleep.
In this alternate life
I won't be imagining of how your eyes
would crinkle when you smile,
and we won't be thinking
and dreaming of alternate lives,
and we won't be wishing
to hold each other close,
even just for a second.
Because in this alternate life
We both make it.
In this alternate life (maybe)
God looked down upon us
and before we are even born, He said,
"I will make it easy this time.""
— cynthia go // I believe there's an alternate life where we both make it
(Source: cynthiatingo)
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It's too good to be true, this perfect world.
It's too perfect.
It's just too perfect.
Like....my mom and I are getting along like we're best friends.
She's not bringing home new boyfriends or doing her typical post-break up cooking. I missed the part where you could come home, knowing there was something sweet in the kitchen though.
I'm a straight A student. I don't have to study very hard to understand the material. I just... get it and I'm pretty sure I have a photographic memory. It's awesome! Jeezes, it's a lifesaver. ----It would have made remembering those law terms so much easier during community service.
My mom is in a stable relationship for once. She and Doug really complement each other. He's one of the good ones. He never goes a day without doing something to show her that his love for her hasn't changed. He leaves love notes on the fridge for her. He brings her fresh flowers once a week. Sometimes, it's not always romantic or idealistic, but he puts thought into how he shows her how he feels. It's cute.
We have a family dog. He's a golden retriever named Billy. I didn't pick the name. When Doug and my mom went to buy him that was the name he was being called by the breeders. He knew his name so we didn't want to change it and confuse him. He's a Billy, through and through.
One of the greatest things about this universe is there is no Sterling or Mr. Pratt. Their identities have been erased I think. I asked my mom about Sterling once and she told me that she's never dated someone with that name. I assume that's the same for Mr. Pratt too. I can't find any trace of them.
Everything is peaceful here and everyone is as happy as can be.
It's a strange reality for me to accept.
**
Doug and my mom returned on a Thursday from their honeymoon in the Bahamas. They sent me pictures on the daily of their adventures while I was spending the 2 weeks they were gone with my biological fathers parents.
You read that right. Apparently in this universe though I still have never laid my eyes on my father, I apparently have a close relationship with his parents. You remember, Grandma Mary-Anne and Harold.
I guess I wanted a close relationship with family so badly I conjured up one.
My mom settled down beside me on the couch as I watched the television. I had spent the last few weeks watching news programs hourly.
"So what was the best part?" I asked her. "Spending hours in the sun or spending time away from me?"
My mom patted my knee and laughed. "You know I love spending time with you---but I loved spending some alone time with Doug. I feel I learned a lot more about him."
I'm happy for her.
I've always wanted this for her.
"That's nice. I'm happy for you guys." I sighed and looked back at the television. Secretly I was hoping that some version of Levi--in this reality--would pop up on a news program. Then-- maybe-- we could be together.
If I had to get community service all over again I would.
I'd play the same cards .
I began to realize though that the people I knew before death, my friends, did not appear in my universe. That's why though I wanted to go to the police station to make sure there was no cop named Levi working there, I didn't even try. The police station is really that last hope I have-- that I could make something out of this universe with Levi.
I just needed him.
I'm going crazy here.
I still remember so much about my life. The only way I could possibly accept that this is my fate would be if I could forget it all.
A/N: comment below. If you were living in your alternative universe, who would you want to be there?
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Gone Too Soon (Police Officer/Delinquent Relationship) BOOK 2
Roman d'amourM for manipulative(50 % less) A for attitude (still 100%) I for impulsive (50 % less) S for sarcastic (still 100%) I for irresistible (still 100%) E for emotionally unavailable(increasing as we speak) Not too long ago I was alone. Beatened, and ba...
