Teenage Mercenary: Deadweight

◑chapter twenty-six

◑ chapter twenty six (epilogue)

Me, Vella, Margot, Melona and Piona were waiting outside of Audra's room. Only a few choice words were heard. Like, saved, and green eyed nurse. But then it got quiet, too quiet. So, being the big brother I am, I burst through the door. And what the hell do I see? Jared and Audra, making out! Oh god, just recounting it makes me sick. God!

"Well, why did you ?" I look over to see Clara with her widening brown eyes.

"Because you should know that your aunt and your uncle really love each other." I answer, kissing her forehead.

"Is that all daddy?" She asks, getting up and fixing her dress.

"Remember when they get here to not talk about anything I told you." I smile as I send her on her way.

It's been seven years since everything. I guess you wanna know what happened. Yeah, you. Well, the years have been good to almost all of us. Me and Margot have since moved to Washington. At least we were somewhere we can get protection. We were getting sleep too, well not since we had Clara, our beautiful, loud, noisy, plate clattering- bundle of joy.

We live in a quaint little home, blue and white, green grass and pumpkins on the steps. Marg's words, not mine. Ever since Clara, out life is normal. We go grocery shopping, furniture shopping. And Margot, oh she's been amazing. I didn't know how I was going to be as a father but she is doing a perfect job as a mother. She even occasionally plays dress up with us.

Next up, Ballele and Will. Who knew they would get together? I knew. Margot? Yeah babe? How are you doing this? I'm a witch! Insert evil laugh here. I'm not gonna do that. Aw, why not? Margot, you're gonna burn the mushrooms if we keep chatting like this. Oh shi-

As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupt- Mushrooms are done! Oh sorry what were we talking about? Ballelle and Will. Now things, well I thought things were going to be awkward but they weren't. Why would they be? Oh because he totally liked Audra. Regan, we talked about this, they're like close friends. No no no, I'm right, you're wrong. Anyways, they live in, oh I forgot. Baltimore, they live like a drive away. Alright! So, yeah, they all live together and come over all the time to free load. Didn't we just drive over there to steal a couple of their pans? Oh yeah, well never mind.

Melona and Piona, god they're free loaders. We're all just a bunch of freeloaders. Regan, they're still here. I know, boy don't I know. They used up all the toothpaste from the pantry. Do you know how much money I spent? Alot! Regan, we got a costco membership for a reason.

And then the music! Oh god, the music! Regan, they listen to Jazz. That's not Jazz, just like imitation lobster is not lobster. Okay, move on. Uh, I know where they live. God, Regan if you do this, we're getting a divorce. New York, New York! I wanna wake up in the city that never sleeps. I want to be- I'm calling a lawyer.

Where's Kai? Oh, yeah he's touring all over the world with his Family, before he moves in with Melona and Piona. Where in our house? No, back in New York! New York! What about Rema and Vic? They are doing great, it's about to be Oliver's birthday soon. It feels like yesterday we were buying a bib for him. Margot that was years ago and even mom knows that. She's still in the peace corps? Working her butt off I might add, she's been doing great.

Then there are the twins. They used to be a town over. They did live here in this house actually, but they moved. Still don't know why. Okay, they moved to Charlottesville, which is in Virginia. That's just a drive away! Margot, not everything is a drive away. It looks that way on google maps. You know what? I'm gonna ignore you.

Chelle and Brenda did go their separate ways though. What?! Oh not that way, I meant they got their own place. Really? Yeah, I thought I told you, they sent a card on sunday. oh, I was trying to wash clothes and watch our daughter. So where did they move? New York! New York! I swear sometimes! You love me.

Last but not least, Vella. Ah, my little baby, my platinum blonde baby. Okay, I'm gonna go back to ignoring you. Honey, you never started. She's actually the ultimate freeloader. She takes the trophy for longest freeloading sister ever. She's been at Ballele's place, the twin's place, and more frequently our place. Don't forget the occasional one month layover at Audra's.

Is she coming over soon? Everyone will be once they see my food! Speaking of which, Clara loves mushrooms. I hope she doesn't when she's older, if you know what I- I know what you mean. I'm funny, laugh. I'm laughing. No you're not I can't hear you! Clara, you really don't think she'll be into that right? She's only nine. Right now, alright, see you in the kitchen babe.

Oh! I said last, but I didn't say anything about Audra. Well, there is a lot to say.