Hello, My Name is...

Chapter Twenty Seven: These Fucking Bastards from my Past

(The other ring)

While I was driving us to Potters house I told Tiger that I had adopted her, she asked me, "You did what!" I then repeated it telling her that her parents were too old to take care of her while remising the day they told me it, Suddenly she hugged me, I grinned telling her, "Hey, careful, i'm driving,Remember? If your that upset don't push us off the road." "I'm hugging you, you jerk." I then told her, "Well as your parent I say you're grounded. How do like that?" She shooked her head telling me, "Stop abusing your power over me." I laughed saying, "Stop this!" While honking the horn, she the laughed along with me. Once we were there I knocked on the door as we waited for someone to open the door Tiger said, "It's hot out?" I rolled my eyes and told her, "Tiger, It's June fifth, of course it would be hot." Just then the door opened revealing Potter, Tiger greeted him I asked him to open the door. Tiger told me to be nice but I just rolled my eyes at her. He looked awkward then I saw a familiar looking woman. She started to demand why we were here and bla bla bla so I used my "talents" on her. "I'm sorry can I speak to the lady of the house? I am the lady of the house." Inside I wanted to glare at her and say no shit bitch but I stayed calm and told her, "No way, Are you kidding me? your look so young and pretty there is no way. Once she blushed I knew I had her wrapped around my finger, Please tell me, is the beauty of your house reflected by your personality?" She giggled then offered us to come inside for tea, I grinned but as we went inside I notice Tiger looking at me like I was crazy so I winked to insure her that I was fine as we walked into the sitting room she introduced herself as Petunia Dursley, Harrys aunt, suddenly I remember her, that bitchy sister of Evans. However I didn't say anything but I did notice that she was looking at Tiger funny and asked her what was her relationship to me. She told her that we were cousins. She looked relief as she muttered, "Alright." Tiger had a confused look on her face but that's because she doesn't understand. I knew the real reason though, this lady never liked Evans at least thats what Severus told me. As we talked I heard the door slam open to reveal some fat ass and his equally huge son. It took everything in me not to laugh on sight. He bitched at his wife for letting us in she bitched back, I just watched this with mild amusement finally I decide to step in by saying, "I mean you no harm sir, clearly a well respected man like yourself will only have the most beautiful family and home one could have." He puffed his chest a bit while telling me, "Well of course. Money doesn't grow on trees, so I try to get the best for my family." Then he sat next to me on the couch, So what kind of work do you do,Mister?" "Hohnsen. I said while shanking his hand, Jorden Hohnsen, and i'm an assistant teacher." "Does it pay well?" He asked while grabbing a giant fistful of snacks his wife layed had out. "You can say that." I told him with a grin. He laughed as I glanced toward Tiger, she was talking to that elephant sized kid. The guy who introduced himself as Vermon Dursly asked me about Tiger, "So is that little girl there your daughter?" I laughed telling him, "No she's my cousin." After a while I told him that we had to go, Petunia offered us to come by for dinner and I lied telling her that i'll keep it in mind but as we got into my truck Tiger asked me what was I doing so I told her, "Well baby cousin, let's just say, if I wasn't a wizard then I would be an actor." She gave me a look then said, "You never fail to surprise and horrify me,Do you?" I grinned while telling her, and I take that as a compliment. I smiled thinking of her face when I told her about my new job, soon it was Tiger's birthday, we were going to celebrated at my house. I was cleaning up when she popped out of now where asking if she could borrow Hooters. I told her that it was fine as long as Hooters is fed before taking off but before she asked me, "Hey Jorden, Why did you named her Hooters?" I was a little taken back at her question but answered it the same way I did to everyone who has asked that question, "Oh, because if named her titties it would sound weird." "Jorden!" I laughed as I exited thought the door looking for the mop.

Sirius's POV

I was sleeping when I had thought I smelled someone nearby I shot up to see a girl with brown eyes and red hair. I realized that this was James and Lily's daughter. I then sat she approach me a bit cautious then asked, "Can I pet you, boy?" I allowed her and even licked her hand she laughed a bit then I heard the voice of the devil himself, she seemed a bit sad but said while petting me that she'll see me tommorow. I calmed down a bit and licked her cheek goodbye then I ran off to find Harry.