A/N: So I don't really have much to say about this chapter really but yeah, here it is.
Let me know if there are any mistakes or anything.
Don't forget to vote or comment if you liked it c:
Only a few days in, and Kitzie was already beginning to hate recovery. Surprisingly, she didn't hate the nurses or the white walls of the mental hospital itself, but she hated the process. And when Kitzie hated something, she hated it with a passion. She didn't like being forced into things, and pretty much the whole process of her recovery here was being forced to eat until she felt able to do it by herself.
Her first day had been fine, apart from the overwhelming sense of guilt she felt because of her parents. She had talked that out with Luke, kind of. Either way, the thrill of actually realising she was going to do something good for herself overpowered the constant want to go home. She felt like she could do it, and she felt like it wouldn't be so hard.
By the second day, that thrill was beginning to die down, and the need to be in control was beginning to cry louder again. It wasn't as easy to keep the food in her mouth. It wasn't as easy.
It really wasn't surprising to her that by the third day she was sneaking out through the window the way Ezra had shown her before. Kitzie had told herself that she was going to stay in Dalacine as much as possible unless it was an emergency. But then again, she'd said the same thing about cigarettes.
'Only for emergencies' didn't mean much when your whole life felt like a war.
She felt her feet touch the ground and let go of the pipe. Only once did she let herself glance up at the window, and no one had been looking. The nurses had already been in to check up on them, so she didn't run the risk of being searched for for a while yet. She told herself she'd be back before then.
Ezra was asleep, surprisingly. The first thing she learnt about being in the same room as Ezra was that she didn't sleep often. Of course, she tried, but you could tell when she was lying awake, desperately trying to tempt herself into unconsciousness. Kitzie hadn't said anything about it, but the only time she had ever seen Ezra able to get to sleep was after she had locked herself in the bathroom for a long while. Kitzie had watched as Ezra stepped back into the room, unaware that Kitzie was awake. She had been unaware that Kitzie could see the new bruises already forming on her arms. She had been unaware that Kitzie could see the tear stains on her cheeks.
Kitzie hadn't said anything about it, but she wished she did.
It was too early in the morning to see many people around. The sun was low in the sky, making Kitzie squint as she walked along. She wasn't sure where she was going at first, but it became clear that her feet were leading her to where they always did.
To a certain extent, the roof overlooked a good chunk of the town. She could see Dalacine from her place on the edge. There would have been a time when she would have never even thought twice about that place, but honestly, that time was long gone. She'd considered going there before, but never quite had the courage to go through with it.
The closest she'd ever come to admitting herself before three days ago was when she had been returning Conor's meds. It wasn't a long time ago, now that she thought about it. Yet, Conor seemed like a completely different person now.
He was less calm and collected now. In fact, he was almost crazy - not because he was bipolar, but because everything he did seemed to be out of the blue. Everything he said seemed to surprise him as well as everyone else. Everything he was, everything he wanted to be, it all seemed to change.
She wondered whether it was a bad thing. Sure, it was entertaining to have a friend who had basically no sense of control over what they did, but was it good? She had no clue whether Conor liked it like that or not. He'd always seemed happy with himself; perhaps he was a little too happy. He seemed tired too. The bags under his eyes were enough to tell everyone that he didn't sleep anymore.
