A/N: I came up with half of this aaages ago and I'm still not exactly happy with how it's written. Then again, I say that every time so hopefully I'll just get over it.
Enjoy the chapter, and don't forget to vote or comment if you did c:
Ezra's heart sank. The Cliff Face meant alcohol, loud music and lots of people. The whole situation was already beginning to make Ezra feel uneasy, and that was only when she imagined it. She could barely deal with being in a crowd of 7 or 8 people, let alone a whole club full. Yet, Kitzie had chased her when she had been at a low point, so Ezra had to return the favour. She doubted that would be a particularly easy task when consumed by anxiety, though.
What choice did she have?
If there was one thing she had taught herself in her years' worth of trying to conceal her anxiety, it was that avoiding situations in which she panicked about was mandatory. Running straight into a club, searching for someone when she didn't even know if they were there didn't sound like something well thought out. Honestly, it sounded terrifying. In fact, in any other situation, she wouldn't have even considered it.
Running away from anxiety inducing situations was just a given in Ezra's life.
Ezra was torn. She had a feeling Kitzie would be at the Cliff Face, mainly because there would be a steady source of alcohol, strangers and other things that helped you forget. Ezra had learnt from sharing a room with her that Kitzie had her ways of dealing with things that weren't necessarily healthy - not that Ezra had ever said anything about it.
There was a strange sense of familiarity with the whole problem. Kitzie wanted to forget, and she used ways that were like a punch to the stomach for Ezra. Mainly because she'd seen it before. She'd also seen it fail before. Kya hadn't been as lucky as Kitzie in the way that Kitzie had people who were aware of what she did. Kya's methods of forgetting (which generally involved a bottle of something and possibly a pack or two of cigarettes) had gone pretty much unnoticed until she died. Ezra had always known. She'd tried to say something to Kya, but things had never really got that far. There was a strange deal they'd had that Ezra regretted now.
If Ezra were to tell anyone about Kya's ever growing tendency to come home smelling of alcohol and smoke, Kya was allowed to tell everyone about Ezra's anxiety.
At that point in Ezra's life, it hadn't been something she wanted to risk. In that respect, Ezra hated how stubborn her sister was, and how afraid she herself had been. Things could have changed if Ezra had just told someone.
Either way, the whole situation with Kitzie was now being haunted in her mind by Kya, and Ezra didn't want to take that risk. Yet, she also didn't want to send herself into an anxiety inducing situation.
Ezra had told Conor that she was going to go back to her room and think. That was all he thought she would be able to do, since he was also particularly aware of how she reacted when she was panicked. As soon as she walked into the room and glanced at the empty bed where Kitzie would usually be lounging, however, she decided that sitting there was not going to do anyone any good.
No one heard as a second patient jumped from the same window, and climbed over the same gate into freedom.
Of course, Ezra put a lot of thought into her plan of action. She was supposed to avoid the Cliff Face until she had no other option but to look for Kitzie there.
The first place she searched was Kitzie's house, which was where she had been outside a few times when she and Kitzie used to take Nathan and Amelia out. Through the window, Ezra could see that Kitzie's parents were home, but the absence of any worry on their faces told her that they couldn't know that she had ever disappeared from Dalacine. Either that or they just didn't care, but Luke had told her about a conversation he'd had with Kitzie that told her otherwise. Ezra climbed the side of the house regardless and peered into Kitzie's bedroom window just in case. She hoped that none of the neighbours had seen her, because she felt the sight would be very difficult to explain. Especially when she couldn't tell them out loud, and there was also the fact that strangers were also terrifying.
