Luke sat in his usual chair facing the large window which was opposite the door. He waited as Emma returned from her desk with some paper in her hand. She took a sip of coffee and smiled, shuffling the paper quickly. She tapped the pen against her temple for a moment before looking up at Luke, "What day is today?"
He shrugged. "Saturday?"
"Thanks."
There was a small moment of silence. "Don't you usually tell me how long it's been since something when you ask me that?"
"Not much of a need to do that anymore," she replied, her strawberry blonde hair slowly falling out of the bun she had tangled it into. "I'm sure you don't need me to remind you how long it's been since your last attempt."
It was true; he'd been counting the days. He told her that, and she gave him a strange look.
"Why have you been counting the days, Luke?"
"Because they're days I wouldn't have had if I had been successful with my attempt," he spoke as if it was obvious.
"Isn't counting them a bit obsessive? Why are you counting them?" There was a frown on her face.
"It's not obsessive," Luke said defensively. "It's appreciative."
"Appreciative of what?"
"Of my life."
Luke could have imagined it, but he was sure he saw the faint image of a smile on Emma's face. "How does that make you appreciative of your life?"
"Well," Luke wasn't sure how to explain it, but he was going to try it, "when you're dead, nothing happens, right? I was trying to get to that nothing state because that was what I thought I wanted. It's been 21 days since I was on that roof, and something good has happened to me every day since then."
"And that makes you appreciative?"
"Yes," Luke said, "because all of these days are ones that I might not have had."
Emma paused to write something down. It was difficult to tell what she was thinking about the whole conversation, because Emma was trained to examine how other people were feeling, not to let herself be read by those people. Talking to Jeffrey was easier; he was more open about how he felt about something. Emma liked to keep everything professional and organised.
"Has something happened in these days to cause this state of mind?" She asked him curiously. There was a warmth to her voice that he wasn't sure he recognised.
"Nothing big," he said slowly, "just little moments that I wouldn't change."
"Moments like what?"
He thought for a little while, letting himself relive the last 21 days. "Like when Ezra came to see me for the first time since we were on the roof."
Ezra had opened the door to his new room very slowly, almost afraid of what she would see. She had peered inside, and the room had been dark, but just seeing his silhouette alive and breathing had been a relief. She had cried, and Luke had been so confused. Yet, he had been happy at the same time. Then again, he had been sad too, because he made Ezra cry a lot. They had talked into the gloom, which had been strange at first as neither of them were used to hearing Ezra speak. Being around Ezra had been comforting. He always felt safe with Ezra, and he never wanted to let that feeling go. They talked about anything that came to their minds, and there was no holding back. Sitting close to each other, they shared secrets and feelings; Luke had never felt closer to someone in that moment.
Emma smiled as Luke recalled the memory. "Anything else?"
"When Ezra, Kitzie, Conor and I were in the cafeteria altogether again," he said.
