The Russian

Chapter Twenty Eight: Healing

The helicopter brought us to a hospital where there were guards holding Adams Arms Base Assault Rifles Carbine 16 inch. I was hesitant to enter, but Sam pulled my arm to follow. I haven't let go of him since he found me and Captain America. After the brought Captain inside, Sam turned to me and the woman with the red hair.

"I'm gonna go stay with him. Mik, go with Nat and get changed." Sam said. He went to go, but I held on to his hand tight. He looks at me, seeing I was unsure of everything around me. He bent to my level and put his hands on my shoulders lightly, due to my wounds. "Mika, Natasha is gonna get you cleaned up, then bring you back to me and Steve. I promise to protect him while you do that, Okay?"

"Okay." I say softly. Sam nods at Natasha and runs into Captain's room. Natasha presses my back softly but I wince.

"Come on. Lets get you cleaned up." She says calmly. I could tell something was bothering her though. We enter a room a few doors away from Captain's. She closed the doors, pulled down the blinds and pointed to the table. "Sit and take your shirt off."

I take off my top, my body hurt so Natasha helped. Once it was completely off, I heard a small noise from her as she saw my back. I felt her fingers run up a line, stinging from her touch.

"They are new....the slashes." Natasha said. I grip my head in a headache as she spoke.

"Mika, I know you don't want to talk about it, but I need to know." Tash told me . I sat in the chair looking at my hands, ashamed of who I am and was. "What did they do to you?"

"боль so much." I told her. It ment pain.

"The slashes?" She asked as she touched on of the scares. I flinch but relax, I felt I could trust her.

"If I didn't behave." I told her, refusing to look at her face.

"What are the black dots, are they track marks?" She asked, pointing to my arm.

"I was......Guinea pig." I mumbled. She took my hands and I gasped. I felt her, her life. I watched her training, I watched the procedure, I felt every kill. I was her and it terrified me. I saw her world, why she had walls, why she trusted Barton and why she took us in. She lets go and we are both breathing heavily. I felt Dizzy.

"How did you do that?" She asked me.

"I...I don't know."

"Mika? Are you alright?" Natasha said, crouching in front of me to see my face. I open my eyes fully and try to regulate my breathing.

"You are a Black Widow. Trained in the Red Room." I stated. She nodded and smiled.

"I see your accent is back. Haven't heard it in a few years." She says. She takes a wet cloth and begins to clean my body up. She hovered over the big bruises, and brushed her fingers against them.

"It is from Captain. His pain I felt." I explained, even though I'm not sure how the hell it worked.

"Well, you look good. Just have to stitch up your back. Lay on your stomach." She told me. I did so and felt the burning liquid pour on my wounds. My head began to pound one more.

I lay down on a towel and Steve lays out the supplies to fix me. He pours the peroxide on, and I hiss at the burning.

"This could have been bad. Why din't you tell me?" Steve says as he wipes away the dirt in the wound.

"You were carrying Natasha, and you are pretty battered too. I could do this myself. I would have slowed us down if I had said anything." I tell him. Steve threads the needle and looks at me.

"Ready?"

"Psh, this ain't nothing Rodgers." I joke. The needle goes in and out of my skin and flashes of my past come out.

I breath heavy once more, and Natasha strokes my hair to calm me down. Her touch is comforting, as if it was familiar and constant. I craved it. The warmth and love that flowed through her hands.

"What did you remember?" She asked as she taped the gauze on my back.

"Captain stitched up my side, but scolded me for not telling him earlier." I tell her. She chuckles.

"Yeah, I remember that. I was in the bathroom with Amira. Getting that girl clean can be difficult." Natasha says with happiness in her throat. I sit up and look at her.

"You know Amira?" I ask her. "Is she okay?"

"Yes, I know Amira. I raised both of you for the past Five-Six years." She tells me as she takes the wet cloth and clean me up. "I took you away from the facility. Close your eyes and thin really hard about it." I did and the headache came back.

"Привет малыш . а ты говоришь по русски?"(Hello Little One. Do you speak Russian?) Natasha asked me. I nodded but did not speak. 

"Где твои родители?"(Where are your parents?) She asked My Skinny young body. I shake my head. Natasha tried something else. "Do you speak english?"

"Yes." I whimper.

"My name is Natasha Romanoff. I work with SHEILD. What is your name?" She asks as she gets slightly closer.

"My name is Mika and this is my sister Amira." I tells her. 

"You killed the bad man." I mumble. Natasha nods.

"It will take time, but you will get it back. And look at your arms." I look and the black faded except for my hands. "Here, put these on and we will head over to Steve's room."

She handed my a dark grey long sleeved shirt and black ripped up jeans. I quickly ut them on and look at myself in the mirror. My eyes were still solid black, and my cheeks sunk in. My skin was pale and my hair was stained red. That is when it hit me.

I killed Someone.

I killed someone, and didn't care. 

I killed somene, with no remorse. What does that make me? 

A monster, a killer or a victim?