The Russian

Chapter Thirteen: Spoken words change you

After Peggy's visit, we stopped by his running friend's lecture. A woman was talking about her PTSD, and how she swerved at a plastic bag thinking it was something else.

"Some stuff you leave there, other stuff you bring back." His friend said. Steve leaned against the doorway, and I leaned against him. Amira was in front of him holding his hands as she stood on his feet. "It's our job to figure out how to carry it. Is it gonna be in a big suitcase, or a little mans purse." 

His words spoke to me. I wasn't from the war, I was a living one. My powers were uncontrollable, and I couldn't tell anyone. The world saw me as a Shadow, a freak that needed to be contained. But it was on me to carry it, and not let it get to me.

"It's up to you." He said then ended the speech. Others spoke a little. Afterwards, the three of waited outside of the room to wait for his friend.

"Look who it is, The running man and the girl from the car." He chuckled.

"We caught the last few minutes. It was pretty intense." Steve told him, as his friend was organizing panflits.

"Yeah, Brother." He said with a smile. "We all got the same problems. Guilt....Regret."

"You lose someone?" Steve asks him.

"My wingman, Reily. Flying a night mission. Standard, PJ rescue op. Nothing we hadn't done a thousand times."

"But there is always that one time." I say softly he nods and continues.

"Till an RPG knocked Reily's dumbass out of the sky.Nothing I could do, It was like I was up there just to watch." He said. Amira came over and hugged his leg.

"I'm sorry about your friend, but you can be our friend now!" She said with a smile. He chuckled and knelt to her level.

"Hey sweetheart, what's your name?" He asks. Amira looks at Steve for the okay.

"Go ahead." Steve encouraged. Amira turned back to the man.

"My name is Amira, who are you?"

"My name is Sam. Is this your dad?" I started to laugh, earning an elbow to the side from Steve.

"No, he is Mika's friend. He lets us live with him. I make him Glitter cards." Amira tells Sam. Sam looks up at Steve and chuckles.

"That why you had glitter on your shirt the other day?" Sam asked with a grin. Steve look down with embarrassment. Sam then turned to me. "I am guessing you are Mika."

"Yeah, but most know me as Shadow." I tell him. His eyes widen.

"You're the Shadow? You are like twelve!" He said flabbergasted. I cross my arms.

"I am seventeen, almost eighteen." I correct him.

"I thought the same when I met her." Steve said. I playfully punch his shoulder.

"And you got your ass kicked that day, didn't you?" I pointed out.

"I need to here how Captain America got his assed wooped by a Seventeen year old girl." Sam said excited.

"Another time." Steve said, there was something bothering him, but I couldn't read it. "Are you happy now? Back in the world?"

"Hey, the number of people giving me orders is down to about zero. So Hell yeah." Sam says with a smile. "You thinking about getting out?"

"No." Steve said, but Sam gave him the look. "I don't know. To be honest, I don't know what I would do with myself if I did."

"Ultimate fighting?" Sam suggests, making us both laugh. "Just a great Idea off the top of my head. Seriously you could do whatever you wanna do. What makes you happy?"

"I don't know." Steve awnsered. It was another blow inside, but I kept it strong.

"Well, you have two beautiful girls on your arms. Start with that." Sam suggests then leaves. I check my phone and it was about 5:50.

"Steve, let's go get something to eat." I suggest.

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We stopped at this great pizza place. Steve got us a pie, and Amira went to town on it. She loved Pizza, its her favorite. Steve barley touched his food.

"Steve?" He looks up at me. "What's up? Talk to me."

"It's nothing Mik." Steve says looking down. I got frustrated and my body did something stupid. I grab his arm and searched for it. I watched how Fury showed him these weapons of destruction. I watched as he held Peggy who was crying how much she had missed him. 

I tried to back out, but I couldn't Instead I went some place no one should go. 

The things that haunt us.

I watched his mom make him soup, even though she was coughing and Dying. I watched how she laid there on the bed, barley breathing. I watched how there was no one at the funeral but him and his friend. I watched as he struggled everyday to keep going. How he pushed and let the bullies beat him, scrawny little Steve. 

I finally was able to get out, and Steve looked at me with anger. Until he saw my hands. the were becoming black again. I step out of the pizzeria and go to the alley next door. It was raining, so my tears were masked. 

What the hell was happening to me? I felt this pull, this energy that I couldn't escape. It terrified me. I didn't want to be this. I wrapped my arms around me and slid down the wall, falling into the muddy ground. I sobbed so hard. I couldn't move. I was a monster for what I did. I shouldn't have done that to him.

"MIKA!" I hear someone yell. It was Steve. "MIKA WHERE ARE YOU?!" He shouted. I couldn't tell him, I couldn't face him. I couldn't control myself, I didn't wanna hurt him or Amira. My phone then vibrated to see it was Tyler.

"H...Hello." I croak.

"Mika? Thank god! Steve been calling for you! Where are you?" Tyler asked with concern.

"Ty....I used it on him. I didn't mean to. My body did it on its own. I hurt him and I turned black again." I cry to my best friend.

"Mika, Let me come get you. Just tell me where you are." 

"The alley way next to Killian's pizzeria." I tell him.

"Hang on." And he hangs up. I was starting to get cold. But my body shook with fear. I hurt the only person who has shown me kindness outside of SHEILD, before Tyler. I was scared of myself.

"Mika!" I turn to see Steve run to me. Ty stood in the distance holding Amira under an umbrella. He gets closer and I try to move away.

"Steve get away from me!" I shout.

"Mika? It's me.."

"I don't wanna hurt you again! I didn't mean to do that! Just leave me be!" I cry. I curl up into a ball as the rain plays the drums against my back. A warm hand touches my slightly blacken hands.

"Mika, it's okay. I understand. Tyler explained to me. I'm not scared of you." Steve said.

"You should be.....I'm scared of me...." I whimper. His large arms wrap around my shaking body.

"YOu are my little sister. I would never be scared of you or leave you behind." Steve whispers in my ear.

"Promise?" I ask as I look up to his bright blue eyes.

"Promise."