Before Her

Jane 30

Jane
'So how come you haven't been visiting me these past few days?'
'Oh,' he says with a smile that brightened up his cute chubby face, 'I've been really busy running errands for Alby and my keeper. You know the usual, sorry.'
'That's okay, I'm glad you're hear now, especially when I don't really have anyone to talk to,' I mumbled the last part, not realising that Dan could speak Mumble.
'What? Why? Don't you usually hang around Newt and Minho?'
'Yeah, but Minho's out right now and Newt's been acting really weird around me.'
'What? Really? But you guys are that inseparable lovey dovey couple.'
I choked on my sandwich, coughing slightly, 'What? No, we're not.'
'Really, but you guys are always together, and you always act like a couple and stuff...' he says, trailing off as he spoke.
'We're only like that because no one will come near me if they think I'm with Newt.'
'But you are with him.'
'No I'm not. We are just friends. Always have been, always will be.'
'Are you sure, I mean, have you seen the way he looks at you?'
'What? No, we're just friends.'
Dan raises his eyebrows, his lips twitching slightly, like he was trying not to smile.
'Why are you looking at me like that?'
'You are so clueless.'
'Excuse me?'
'You like Newt.'
It took a moment to register what he'd said, when I finally did, I couldn't help it I burst out laughing. 'What? No I don't,' I finally manage to say, while gasping for air. That idea was ridiculous, I don't like Newt. Why would Dan think that? He's like my best friend, like a brother.
'Don't worry Jane. Most people go through denial when they realise they like someone. It's perfectly normal,' he waves his hand like it's no big deal.
'I d-'
'Look Jane, you might deny that you like Newt, but you can't deny that Newt likes you. You can ask just about anyone in the glade. Everyone sees the way he looks at you, not to mention how protective he is, he acts like you're a newborn baby, I'm serious.'
I couldn't help it, I laughed. I couldn't stop. I squeezed my eyes shut and bit on the inside of my right cheek, trying to stop.
Finally, I managed to stop and take a deep breath, 'Newt doesn't like-'
'Hey guys,' says a voice that it all too familiar, I looked up to see Newt slide onto the bench, sitting next to me. He had a sandwich in his left hand, since his right hand was still in a sling.
Both Dan and I remained silent, me staring at my half eaten sandwich, while Dan's eyes kept flickering back and forth between Newt and I, a smile playing on his lips.
'Did I interrupt something?'
'No,' I answered before Dan could.
'Well, it was nice catching up with you Jane, but I gotta go back to work now. See you Newt.'
Newt gave him a wave.
'So, what were you guys talking about?'
'Nothing much. Look Newt, you've been acting really weird lately, and I wanna know why.'
'Oh,' he reaches up to scratch his neck, he's nervous, 'Well, you see, it's just that- umm. I, you know- like... maybe, I, I think I, well... Okay, it's just that well, never mind, don't worry about it, it was just something Minho said and I guess it just kinda threw me off.'
'What did he say to you?'
'I'm still trying to figure it out you know, I'll just, I promise, I'll tell you when I have it all figured out okay?' He needed time, time to figure out whatever it was Minho said to him. I respect that.
'Okay.'
'So, are we good?'
'Yeah, we're good.'

~~~

Dinner time rolled by and I am proud to say that I am the first med-jack in line. Today, I had taken a day off, because Andrew told me to and because I was getting a head ache from all the things that've been happening today. Of course, I had not left the infirmary until Andrew and a few other med-jacks promised to help make the infirmary look at least presentable, although I knew not to get my hopes up.

Tonight's menu was one of my favourites, even though it was one of the plainest meals, mashed potatoes and chicken.

As always the room was packed, boys waited (not so) patiently in line. The small tables at the end were either eating quietly or shouting like maniacs. The runners table was as full and as lively as always. There were boys standing, there were boys sitting on the table, there were boys showing off their latest bruises, and there were boys with half their butts falling off the table, trying to eat the last of their meal before heading off to get some rest.

I made the decision of not sitting with the runners today. It was peaceful without them, but I immediately missed the comfort they would always give me whenever I sat with them. It was a little quieter here outside, not a lot, but there was definitely a difference. Everyone sat on the grass with there own little groups, smiling, laughing, eating. They were nowhere near as crazy or as loud as the runners, but it was still like a big family gathering, so big, that everyone stayed with their own friends, although occasionally mingled with some others.

I sat facing the walls, watching the sun set slowly in fascination. I often wondered what was outside the walls, but that was only a short while before I had to get back to whatever I was doing. Now, I had all the time in the world (as long as I ate my food slowly), sitting and staring at the walls and the small opening at each wall, wondering what lay ahead, in the next dark corner, behind the ivy covered walls.

I knew Alby would never let me go out, even if he did, I would have to be a runner first, and I wasn't up for that. I didn't want to be a runner, I probably wouldn't last a day, but I couldn't deny the fascination and curiosity of the maze that burned deep inside of me as I watched the runners run in and out of the maze everyday.

The sun was almost set, the last rays of sunshine fighting for its last breath. A brilliant shade of purple covered most of the sky, along with small rays that signalled the colours that the sky once was and what it would soon become.

The mashed potatoes and chicken were half gone. The other half still sat on the plate, waiting to be consumed, not by me but by either a muscular, black haired, dimple faced boy or a tall, blonde haired boy, both always hungry and never minded eating off my plate.