Better Games

2. Growing

That was about 2 and a half months ago. He started to come visit me and I him. He came to my house every other day, then soon everyday. Peeta came to drop off bread and soon Sae didn't have to cook my meals everyday and watch over me, Peeta was there to keep me company, though she did check up on us every once and a while. He comes to bring bread, to talk, just to see each other. We find that we're better and happier when we're together so it becomes a habit spending every day with each other as we become more and more comfortable. Today I wake up and mechanically take a shower. I've started to find myself attempting to look decent these days and am starting to suspect Peeta is the reason why. I look and the mirror as I get out of the shower and observe my body. It's cascaded in scars and burn marks, fading but still there. Careful not to trigger a flood of bad memories I quickly wrap myself in a towel and walk out of the bathroom. Through my blinds I see Peeta walking out of his house, which is right across from mine, with a wrapped loaf in his arms. It's winter so I can barely makeout his face which is snuggled into his coat. I recede to my closet and shrug on a sunset orange wool sweater and grey sweatpants. Before I get a chance to braid my hair I hear the door open and close shut.
"Katniss," I hear from downstairs.

"Coming," I say.

I get down the stairs and round the corner to walk into the kitchen where I see Peeta unraveling the loaf of bread from its cloth. As he unravels it I see that it's not a loaf but a couple of buns with cheese melting out of their middles. Cheese buns. My favorite.

"After you told me yesterday that you're favorite pastry were cheese buns I made you some when I got home," he said preparing each of us a plate. As he turns around he slowly sets the plates down and smiles.

"What," I eye him questioningly.

"You look beautiful with your hair down."

"Oh, thanks," I say to my socks as I blush. I unconsciously pull the sleeves of my sweater past the palms of my hands, it was a habit.

"Orange is my favorite color, real or not real," he asks. I look up to see if he's suddenly confused like he is sometimes, but the steadiness of his voice and the sureness of his face tells me it's just a part of one of our games.

"Real. You love sunset orange and I love green, except right now I'm liking orange a little better since its the color of the cheese on those buns."

He chuckles. "Well let's eat before you start nibbling that orange sweater."

We eat our pastries and talk about the weather. Peeta says that theirs supposed to be a snowstorm today and that it is predicted to be really bad.

"What if you get snowed in here."

"Katniss I live right across the street it'll be fine."

"But what if you go home and then tomorrow you're not able to walk over here even if it is 25 feet. 6 feet of snow plus your prosthetic Peeta..."

"Katniss."

Before he can say anything else I make the suggestion I've been wanting to ask for weeks. "Why don't...why can't, um...Why don't you bring some clothes over here just in case we get snowed in. I...I'd rather be snowed in with you than by myself for days..." I get out finally, suddenly finding my fork interesting.

"You want me to stay," he asks hesitantly.

I suddenly look up to meet his vivid blue eyes, deep with question and...do I see fear?

"if you don't want to that's-"

"I want to Katniss," he interrupts me, "I just don't want to risk hurting you. You know I'm not fully over my hijacking and I still get flashbacks. What would happen if we were confined in a house together for days and you couldn't get away from me. How could I do that to you."

"Peeta," I start in the most loving voice I can, "you won't hurt me. You've had flashbacks, I know, and though I haven't been with you to witness one yet I've always known at one point you'd have one around me and I'm not afraid of you. I'm not fully healed myself, I wake up screaming with nightmares I know that, but with you I feel...I feel like it's," I start to struggle with my words again, I was never good at this, he was.

"Katniss," he begins

"...I feel like I can be good again, it good be good again...We could be good again." I finish.

He looks directly at me and studies me. Before I know it he's standing up from his chair and struttinng towards me. He gets on his good knee to level our height as I'm still sitting. We lock eyes.

"We can be good again," he repeats.

Mhm. I shake my head yes.

I search his eyes for a response, a sign and after what seems like an eternity he pulls me into his arms and I sink my head into his neck. This is the first real embrace since I first saw him planting Primroses when he came back to Twelve and I realize how much I've missed his touch. And I realize I never want to let go.