I don't know how to handle this. I am feeling conflicted about these emotions. It's not because one half wants one thing and the other half wants the opposite. No, it's because there are no halves. It's just me wanting to ignore the truth. The terrible, horrible truth. The truth that has been lying in wait, ready to surface and put me through this mess. I guess in a way I've always had this feeling that it would happen, but just like now, I tried to ignore it. Only back then it was easier to ignore. It didn't demand my mind to focus on it every hour of every day.
I don't want to face it. I know I'll hurt someone in the process of realizing this truth. Hopes run through my head saying, "Maybe you won't hurt them. Maybe everything will be okay." I know it won't be that easy and painless. I know that someone is going to get hurt. Either myself or someone else, but for a fact it is going to happen to someone. That someone so kind will become bitter. That someone so fine will become damaged. That someone so patient will become frustrated. That someone so loving will become hateful.
I don't understand the full magnitude of the things about to come. All I know is that it will be a major moment in my life. I don't know when it will happen, or how, but it will happen. Of that, I am certain.
YOU ARE READING
In My Mind
RastgeleThis is a compilation of all sorts. The contents range from poetry to short story to random thoughts. Some may be delightful. Some may be horrific. Whatever the case may be, I hope you enjoy this trip through my mind.
