FALLING OUT OF LOVE

I need a hug

I don't look good, days, weeks, can't remember I gave an actual smile to anyone. Elliot seemed busy, been around his dads place a lot. I didn't know what to do anymore, I mean I didn't know how to feel. I couldn't go for classes, few months to graduate and I haven't really made a prestige student.

I stood up, my legs wobbling a bit, I walked in the mirror, took in a sharp breath to look at my appearance. What was I supposed to do, my eyes looked so dark, flooding that Hazel bright eyes, my hair, lost its beautiful bouncy colour. Could I blame myself.

****Flashback****
"You need to know two things love, Your my Love but I'm in love with God". Chase said with in a matter of fact, as we were curled up in the couch watching a movie. He threw popcorn at me three times, the last one, I caught it with my mouth. "what a pig I have for a girlfriend, which I had picked someone else". I shook my head not wanting to reply to his stupidity. I just smiled and put my head up, taking the little pride I had left.
"I want to use the bathroom". Chase excused himself, standing up from the chair, he wobbled almost falling. I hurried to catch him. His weight pulled me down."Are you okay Adams?" I laid him gently on the couch.
"Yeah I'm okay, don't worry didn't just sleep well Emily". I sat playing with his hair, his temperature was getting high."I need you to go to the doctor, please". I said untangling his hair with my hands. He nodded and I smiled as I continued to play with his hair.
***Flashback over****

I threw my clenched hands to the mirror, letting my knuckles to be pierced by the broken glass. I gasped as I saw the amount of blood rushing out, my eyes pleaded for love and care. I felt so disgusted by my reflection. I sank to the floor my hands to my knee, the years fell and I didn't try to pushed them back, like I did for the past few weeks.

I pulled my bag, getting the bunch of papers from Miley, I threw them around, I kept crying and wondering why u was so selfish. Where's everyone when I needed them, no one, no one cares. I'm as miserable as have always been. I need a hug, a warm hug, I need a hand to help me. I just need someone.

I laid on the floor, curled myself and let myself embrace this moment, I didn't want this, I didn't want to be me again, I don't want to feel anymore, everyone thinks because I'm broken, they think they can all just lie to me. I deserve the truth you know, I deserve to be happy, not to care about life too.

Dear Lord, please let this pain pass, I ask for strength, hope to stay, hope to stand.

Dear Lord, please show me love, show me love please, I feel so dark and empty right now, lost and mid used.

Dear Lord, please I need faith to stand, stand in this difficulty, help me please, I need you.

All the prayers played in my head ad I slowly fell into darkness. I heard a faint voice run to me, I felt s hand at my back and felt myself meet those Blue eyes that I love, Elliot. I let darkness take over me, I wanted to cry in his arms but I didn't have strength to.